What is it about Disney Channel that makes every actress fancy herself a singer?

I’m not saying that all of them are untalented. Some even have entire shows based on singing. But, honestly? Mathematically, it does not seem possible that every female star on Disney turns out to be a great singer.

This train of thought was prompted by Bridgit Mendler’s song “Atlantis,” which she released in 2016 as part of her EP “Nemesis.” Spotify has this feature called Discover Weekly, where every week it spits out a cast of new songs for me to peruse, chosen based on what I listen to. This is where I found “Atlantis.”

This song is nothing like the typical Disney Channel product. Her voice is masked and almost tinny. It’s about a subject often glossed over: how people fall out of love and realize that the emotion has slipped out of the relationship.

Mendler’s voice is computerized, the beat is low-key and synth, and during the chorus, she’s joined by several other modulated voices that add an unexpected but pleasant bass. She wearily laments, “Oh, I know how to feel, I know that love ex-ists / It’s asleep with the fishes down in At-lan-tis / Oh, my Lord, where’s my soul? How did we end up like this? / Fast asleep with the fishes down in At-lan-tis.”

Bridgit, by far, is not the best singer produced by the channel, but she’s found a way to blend her average voice with new sound to entice me for a week.

“Now I’m out here looking like revenge / Feeling like a ten, the best I’ve ever been.”

Yep. That sounds like the Demi we’ve been seeing lately.

Demi Lovato has established herself as a capable singer. Her voice is strong and range is varied. But I’d rather look at the trend that’s formed from her last couple of releases.

She’s come a long way from the vulnerable position she was in with “Skyscrapers,” and has transitioned into a tan, high-heeled Demi with perpetually dewy skin that  who tosses around phrases like, “Baby, I’m the baddest.”

Her latest release “Sorry Not Sorry” contains both of these gem quotes, but she’s been spouting self-assured wordage since her release of “Confident,” where she asks, “What’s wrong with being con-fi-dent?”

And Demi, I’ve looked into it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.

“I never would’ve never believed you if three years ago you told me / I’d be here writing this song.”

Me neither, Miley. Oh, she’s still going. Shush, reader!

“But here I am, next to you / The sky’s so blue in Malibu / Next to you / in Malibu / Next to you.”

Okay, I think she’s done.

What is this turn that Miley Cyrus has taken? It seems almost like a PR move. Gone are the giant stuffed animal bears and wrecking ball antics of her last relevant album, “Bangerz.” She’s mellowed out, come down from the high it seems. Shed of the Hannah Montana corpse, I feel like Miley finally feels like she can create what she wants to. This can be seen in her most recent release, “Week Without You,” a rolicky and pop-country screw you to a man she’d love to spend a week without.

Why didn’t we talk about Ariana Grande? Because she was on Nickelodeon. Get it straight, reader. I’ll see you next week.



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