Political Comedy

Wake up sheeple!

Decked from head to toe in sheepskin vests, fluffy boots, and sheep-adorned masks, you’ll never guess what twist this group of FOX News viewers pulled on the “ridiculous CDC regulations.”

Anti-racist DPS policy to include blindfolds

DPS plans to have all officers wear blindfolds or horse blinders when driving because, “if we can’t see their face, we can’t tell their race.” 

Public Safety requests guns to ensure the safety of a completely deserted campus

Public Safety director Clark Livingston took the CT on a tour of all the potentially dangerous locations where students currently aren't.

Here’s how Barry can still win

It's 1986. It's 1962. It's 1988. It's 1981. It's 2020. It's 1991. It's 2024. It's 2016. No matter the year, Bernie and Barry Sanders share a destiny.

Bernie Sanders continues to exist

Sanders hopes that coronavirus strengthens the case for Medicare for All, which would make finding out your hospital has run out of ventilators free.

Engineering expo promises “New opportunities for misery and death in the Middle East”

“We hope students will take this opportunity to get in on the ground floor of unmitigated slaughter,” a UR Career Center representative told the CT.

Protesters protesting campus protest met with protests

When advertisements for a protest were posted in prominent locations around campus, a student stapled Uno reverse cards on top of them.

New student initiative for tuition increase to fund totally unrelated guillotines

Top UR administrators, last seen diving Scrooge McDuck-style into a swimming pool filled with 2019’s executive bonuses, were unavailable for comment.

University shutdown continues

Debate over funding for the proposed campus border wall prolongs the ongoing University shutdown.

Florida Experiences Problems with Recurring Recounts

Florida, a state that is "physically incapable of making decisions" is under fire as midterm elections went to yet another recount.