UR’s Department of Public Safety has released new anti-racist policies to keep up with student demands for a more inclusive campus enviornment. The University will appoint Officer Nora Cism to head the new office of anti-racist Public Safety. Her announcement Tuesday included plans to initiate efforts to keep officers “color blind.” Cism plans to have all officers wear blindfolds or horse blinders when driving patrol vehicles, coining the phrase, “if we can’t see their face, we can’t tell their race.”

Cism went on to say that “while we’re still working on how to deafen our officers so we can’t make any voice or accent-based discrimination, we feel this is a step in the right direction.”

Other future policy initiatives include literally transparent disciplinary records for officers caught on duty without a blindfold, officers seen taking too long to find reported incidents due to lack of memorization of campus by paces, and officers heard asking for directional support.

“Similar to our approach to anti-racism, we expect officers to be able to fully operate without vision, without any additional training,” Cism explained.

The Office of Diversity and Inclusion announced their support of the plan earlier today in a statement.

“We are looking forward to our new partnership with campus Public Safety,” they write. “We believe racism is bad, and we are willing to take a few steps to avoid profiling on campusThis includes the ‘temporary’ step of pretending race doesn’t exist, and the only way for us to do this is to blind the officers. Please consider tuning in to our zoom round-table on the issue, which we hope will be seen as ‘Anti-racist.’”

While the University and its officials support the plan, many students don’t believe it goes far enough to actually solve the problem. A petition to break the department up and limit their role to what some students have dubbed “worse MERT” and “RA’s with a vest” has been signed by 99% of the student body.

“How does a blindfolded officer eliminate racism?” sophomore Missy DaPoint asked. “At this point we might as well just get rid of Public Safety, because if this is the only solution we can come up with, they will just do more harm than good. I would suggest replacing Public Safety with two separate departments filling their only important roles: the Department Regulating Unsophisticated and Negative Kids’ Alcohol Fantasies (DRUNK-AF) and the After-Dark Lockout Prevention Team.”

Officer Nora Cism responded to student demands in an official statement, saying, “We hear the students, and to preserve tuition payments, we are willing to send an email to their parents acknowledging that their kids are just the best for caring. We understand that the next few months are crucial in creating a safe learning environment. To help with this, we are also considering introducing small amounts of tear gas into the dorm heating systems to help students build an immunity as they actually make their voices heard downtown. For now, we only care about keeping our campus profile-free.”

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