UR Joking
green sludge
My fridge molded over during summer break
A moist and fleshy sludge started to ooze out. As I took a step closer, I noticed things moving among the greenery. All kinds of organisms. Read More
Death Star
That’s no laboratory for laser energetics
I saw University President Sarah Mangelsdorf decked out in a black robe, sitting on a quite luxurious office chair in an otherwise empty room with a giant window overlooking the campus. Read More
CCP
Foodborne illnesses send public into panic
RFK Jr. put out a statement to reassure the public that foodborne illnesses are there to add flavor to the food and make it an unforgettable experience. Read More
ever butter
Radioactive Wilson Quad
I first noticed it when I woke up to ash and dust on my windowsill. I looked outside and immediately started to wipe my eyebrows and started sweating some kind of rust. Read More
boss bitch
Even low maintenance is too much maintenance 🌱
That's it! So forgive me for thinking that even college life would be suitable for me. I’m a succulent succulent! I’m meant to thrive in harsh scenarios, like the boss bitch I am. Read More
blood
Don’t Donate Blood
Donating blood is a bad idea and you shouldn’t do it. Just think about it. Think about it real hard. It’s your own blood, and you really need it. Read More
daisy
A farewell address from your rabbit overlord
they could amicably share Daisy’s territory so long as Count Kipper (heretofore known as Lord Kipper of House Daisy), swore total fealty and obedience to Daisy’s cause. Read More
dissociation
Sustainable time travel
So far, I’ve already tried a few alternative methods because, according to my doctor, my liver “can’t take much more of this,” and I think one has finally stuck. Read More
BladeSmart kitchen knife
So, you’re looking for a job (and other horror stories)
So, you have a degree in Biochemistry and English. You served in student government for four years, clustered in Astrophysics, and speak passable German. In other words, you’re unemployed. Read More
[♨️💨🎈]
[🌤️⬆️][🍳][🥊💥]:[💞🕊️][⚔️👊][ ♨️💨🎈][👩🏻🍳🎛️]
She ran over, picked [👦] up, and threw him off the [♨️💨🎈]. Then, she [🔥⬇️] the kitchen.
😡😧🤬😨🤬🔪😱💥💥💥🙄😰😮💨😵💫😑😵 Read More