UR Joking

The basement of Carlson Library is literally the backrooms

No one comes here to hang out. Only to come close to a mental breakdown and hammer out the worst problem set known to man. 

Did you hear a bird today?

Every morning, I wake up early and run around campus, chirping loud enough so people would be able to hear me, even deep in their sleep.

The Structure of an Essay

Finally, you have the conclusion, the only part of your essay that your professor will actually read. You can’t exactly blame them.

The PumpKing

Ready to take the pumpkin out on a walk, we looked for it within our lounge. But it wasn’t there. Had someone taken it?

Elena’s LEGOs

I’m scrambling. How had this all gone so wrong so quickly? Luckily, I had Markup. I was good, maybe too good. He gobbled my lies right up. 

Her Name Was Rosemary! She Was an “It”-Girl!

What have we gained from this? I ask this genuinely, because I do not know. If we are Sisyphus, Party School is our rock.

Rest in peace, Med Center bat

Finding a bat in a med center lab raises a lot of questions: How did it get in here? Why did it pick a sticky trap as its landing pad?

The mice make me crazy

Wait! There is still hope! We are not animals. We have technology! Google says mouse traps. I say let the arms race begin.

No more Mel Sauce weekend

My tuition is paying for barrels upon barrels of Mel Sauce for this weekend alone. Do we really need a Mel Sauce slip and slide?

Her name was Rosemary! She was an “It”-Girl!

Mills’ relationship with Rosemary feels actively teenage and real, which makes the humor that follows it fall flatter.