Humor

Engineering expo promises “New opportunities for misery and death in the Middle East”

“We hope students will take this opportunity to get in on the ground floor of unmitigated slaughter,” a UR Career Center representative told the CT.

Letter to the Editor: In Defense of Coronas

Why does everyone keep talking about Coronas coming from China? It’s definitely a Mexican beer. My Mom says I go to a New Ivy and am very intelligent.

Ken Jennings crowned king of ‘Jeopardy!,’ becomes vaguely famous

Jennings defeated longtime rival Brad Rutter and newcomer James Holzhauer, and is now even occasionally recognized when walking down the street. 

The Official Campus Times Alternative Oscars

In the interest of helping the Academy understand what it missed, CT has assembled a worthy alternative. Presenting... the first nominees for the Wilfords!

UR students report actual work was assigned on syllabus week

The beginning of the new semester is a time cherished by all. But students have come face-to-face with a terrifying new development: actual assignments.

Demon Girl: Arizona isn’t Hell, but it’s almost as hot

Shoutout to the three Customs and Border Protection agents whose souls we ate. Sometimes you just need a little junk food.

The official CT holiday traveler’s guide to insufferable passengers

Every airport and train station will be filled with thousands of people all overflowing with romantic ideals of travel. Those people are insufferable.

Student plans on wearing same blue-and-white striped shirt (wrinkled, no tie) to three Formals

Sophomore and Kendrick Hall resident Nathan LaGuardia-Karsh said he came to this decision after absolutely no soul-searching or consideration.

Just finals things: stories from the library

Deep within the stacks, first-year Rudolph Redmond's shoulders were low and his neck bent. The ghosts of Webworks past seemed to haunt him.

The Demon Girl Who Lives in the Tunnels: Thanksgiving in Hell is Hell

How is a demon supposed to enjoy the holidays when meat is not present? Nothing personal, Beelzebub, but we know you’re the one who went vegan.