Public Safety find secret mice cabal: Adderall for all
A secret adderall-slinging organization run by the mice that live in residential housing was uncovered this week by Public Safety officers.
First-years officially classified as invasive species
Based on the first-years’ recent growth patterns, it is imperative to curb the first-year infestation before they take over Burton and Crosby as well.
Does Jeff Runner even run? The answer may shock you!
We ran a poll, and, astoundingly, of the four people we asked, not a single person reported having ever seen Jeffrey Runner run.
Long-line epidemic sweeping through campus; Line vigilantes rumored
That’s right — the line epidemic is sweeping across the UR campus with no signs of slowing down.
Breaking news: First-years still have a will to live
They are so full of hope it makes any upperclassman sick with the realization that they, too, were once full of bliss and a will to live.
Journal of a lonely student exposed, published in Museum of Natural History
The deepest caverns of my psyche are stuffed with gauzy, stringy globs of caterpillar silk and rendered inaccessible. Welcome to my twisted mind.