Humor
UR Joking
The beeping revolution: A timeline of events
The alarms became more and more regular. Soon enough they were ringing every day in Wilco. There were endless complaints. They had no idea how much ruin was in store for us all.
UR Joking
Tips and tricks to acquire a declining daddy
Success is not guaranteed. Results may vary. Talk to your Doctor (Chatbot) if you think a Declining Daddy may be right for you.
Satire
Help! My professor is an AI
It all began to add up. I wondered if it was possible for the University to outsource our learning to an AI that was capable of teaching a course.
UR Joking
Junior sets prestigious record for amount of student organization rejections
As of this semester, a Rochester junior has successfully been rejected from all 359 clubs and organizations on campus. Chad Spike, who wished to remain anomalous, spent three years getting kicked out, turned away, and barred entry from literally every organization on campus.
Popcorn
How the Boy Scouts failed nine year old me
You may or may not know this, but the Cub Scouts have their own version of Girl Scout cookies. For the non-suburbanites, they call it Boy Scout popcorn.
UR Joking
Mystery upstairs: What’s that noise?
I swear I’m returning to a primitive amoeba-like state now that all my classes are virtual. We’re only three weeks in and already I’m going crazy.
Satire
Dr. Chatbot sued, loses medical license
In early February, Dr. Chatbot was arrested and indicted on over 10,000 counts of malpractice. Due to the doctor’s uncanny ability to change their appearance seemingly at will, and therefore their ability to slip past monitoring systems, they were deemed a flight risk and detained in cells across the web.
UR Joking
10 kinds of tinder users, ranked by rarity
With Valentine’s Day passing by, Tinder usage has increased astronomically. People start swiping right like a trigger-happy protagonist in a Tarantino movie.
Valentine's Day
Will U(zi) be my valentine?
The man, who insisted on being called Rocky, was found outside of Strong in the middle of the night on Feb. 13 with multiple gashes and a small diamond and metal backing lodged in his forehead.
Valentine's Day
How to reclaim valentine’s day
You’re probably sitting in your dorm playing solitaire, eating Kraft singles, singing the latest hit singles. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean that you can’t love the day of love, so here are 10 tips to enjoy Valentine’s day solo.
