Humor

Groundbreaking groundhog goes blonde

Blondeboi has been reviewed by Monroe County Animal Control, and ruled legally blonde.

Dr. Chat Bot is coming for you

Did you forget to fill out your daily health screening?

UR to be Named an Ivy School

Nichols also said that whenever she looks at the ivy it “brings back fond memories of [her] rejection letter from Cornell,” and she’s not the only one!

Message to the UR community on recent controversy

In the spirit of supporting our students and retaining a happy campus, we have decided to create an environment of blissful ignorance.

Quad Skunk fills void left by Quad Fox?

Administration has decided to adopt Quad Skunk as an official unofficial mascot, T-shirts will be sold at the bookstore for the low, low price of $100.

UR to finish first place in fort competition

The skeleton of the award-winning fort is visible in Hirst, formally known as the Flag Lounge, now known as the Fort Lounge.

Anti-racist DPS policy to include blindfolds

DPS plans to have all officers wear blindfolds or horse blinders when driving because, “if we can’t see their face, we can’t tell their race.” 

Goddamn yellowjackets everywhere

From the Humor Section: According to many sources on the University’s historic River Campus, there are yellowjackets absolutely all over the goddamn place.

How the highway to hell has changed for COVID

Even though I’m in Hell this semester, and not lurking in the tunnels, don’t despair! I’ll be holding Zoom sessions for you to get taken care of.

Help! I can’t get rid of my quarantine body

People keep telling me to “get rid of my quarantine body,” and there’s only one explanation: I’ve been found out.