Humor

Choose Your Own Adventure: Orientation!

Overwhelmed by your new life at the River Campus? Play our Choose Your Own Adventure game and let us tell you how to be an independent person!

Choose Your Own Adventure: D-Day!

Your buddy Xander slides you a scrap of tin foil. Inside is either a tiny blotter of LSD or the corner of a Forever stamp of Mr. Incredible. What do you do?

Math 160 series coursework found to contain traces of lead, arsenic

The study comes after years of enrolled students complaining about drowsiness, throbbing headaches, and difficulty with memory and concentration.

New student initiative for tuition increase to fund totally unrelated guillotines

Top UR administrators, last seen diving Scrooge McDuck-style into a swimming pool filled with 2019’s executive bonuses, were unavailable for comment.

Letter: Quad Fox pushes back against scathing murder allegations

Anyone can edit a video to make it seem like a fox is eating a squirrel. In the video posted online, Quad Fox is actually eating tofu.

UR found to be leading the nation in intellectual insecurity

UR students typically base their self-worth entirely on shouting down peers in casual conversation using facts they learned from a YouTube video.

The CT guide to enrolling in a secret course

Examples include two credit course “CAS 105: ROC YOUR BAR MITZVAH” and 69-credit course “XXX 420: Free Weed and Skateboard Tricks.”

[SPONSORED CONTENT] Announcing the new beer that will turn your fists into rockets…

You won't believe how many of your buds you can knock out cold once you've downed this cold one.

Study finds most UR students have apparently never seen a fucking fox before

The red fox, known to STEM majors and insufferable men as “Vulpes vulpes,” is commonly found in every non-desert biome in the fucking Northern Hemisphere.

The humanities fun zone

I’ve curated this little section to be a playground for my fellow Humanities majors. Enjoy, and remember: STEM people don’t know how to read!