Humor
Narratives
An interview with the murderer of that kid who asks unrelated questions in lecture to seem smart
A kid who always asked unrelated questions in lecture was probably murdered last week. Now I’ve got an exclusive interview with the suspected killer.
UR Joking
MERT reports ‘690 percent’ increase in penis injuries on Feb. 14
According to a joint statement from MERT and Public Safety, this spike in reported incidents left the MERT team “stretched thin and girthless.”
Narratives
The Demon Girl Who Lives in the Tunnels: Sick as Hell
Being sick as a demon is about as close to Hell as you can get. Imagine a fever when your normal internal body temperature is just 200 degrees Fahrenheit.
UR Joking
How to fake grief when that kid who asks unrelated questions in lecture to seem smart is murdered
Every time someone mentions the dead kid’s name, you can’t stop a Joker-like grin from engulfing your whole face. How do you hide this?
UR Joking
The BME to CS Switch: A Study
Biomedical Engineering majors confidently march toward their own misery. Then, halfway through the semester, a midterm happens.
Narratives
The wolf t-shirt you got from the cousin who likes magic tricks and theme parks
Cousin Rick likes magic tricks and Six Flags. He owns three Fushigis. He lives más. And now he's gone and bought you a shirt.
UR Joking
CT Recommends: Headbutting
People often don’t know how to respond to an unexpected headbutt, but such strange behavior is objectively amusing to some.
UR Joking
Argument breaks out in first-year quad over who is the most pre-med pre-med
In a particularly heated moment, onlookers reported that it appeared one student tried to papercut another using her laminated CV.
CT Life Skills
CT Life Skills: How to eat food
Some criteria to keep in mind: Is the thing you want to eat moving? If so, it may be alive or a car, and therefore very difficult to catch and eat.
Political Comedy
Engineering expo promises “New opportunities for misery and death in the Middle East”
“We hope students will take this opportunity to get in on the ground floor of unmitigated slaughter,” a UR Career Center representative told the CT.
