Satire

Does Jeff Runner even run? The answer may shock you!

We ran a poll, and, astoundingly, of the four people we asked, not  a single person reported having ever seen Jeffrey Runner run.

UR not connected

WiFi has been disabled all day. Whatever. Not my problem. Maybe I’ll fix it tomorrow. Maybe not. Probably not.

COVID-19 variants to form new fraternity

COVID Delta Lambda hopes to change the college experience for anyone attempting to get an education in the next decade (or eternity).

The SA president we needed: An exclusive interview with Megan Browne

Megan, while initially an unlikely candidate as an avid SA-unenthusiast, rose to take on the challenge of snagging the presidency on a whim.

Wellness Wednesday advice: If going to be sad? Don’t!

Recently, one of our dedicated researchers came across a stash of emails, buried deep within the University’s drafts. Clearly, someone had been trying to dispose of the evidence. 

Exclusive interview with a UR dropout turned influencer

From the Humor section: It’s plain to see that monetizing your hotness, or “influencing,” is now a viable and maybe even preferential career option.

Your vibes based on your Insomnia Cookie choice

Everyone loves a late night Insomnia delivery, and the sweet sensation that comes with biting into a gooey cookie at 1 am, but not all cookie choices are created equal. 

Scrapped plans for ‘Romantic lunch with Dean Runner’ released to CT

You are invited to join Jeff Runner, Dean of the College, for a romantic walk in the park on April 1, 2021.

First-year engineers hazed by Hajim school

Alumni Jacobs Rotz, who graduated from Chemical Engineering in 2012, commented, “Most first-years have taken MATH 162 by the time the trials start, so nothing can really hurt them anymore.” 

CURT 2: Electric boogaloo

On Tuesday, March 23, UR replaced the Coronavirus University Restart Team (CURT) with a new committee called CURT420.