Narratives

Gourds!

She explained, “For purely decorative gourds I’m a big fan of Tennessee dancing gourds, and bicolor egg gourds.”

Southside spiders seriously spook Stella

Imagine my displeasure upon finding a gargantuan, lustrous-rumped, gangly-legged, octo-eyed, bitch-ass orb weaver staring at me from its tiny nest of butt string.

Tony Hawk (maybe) gets bigger

Mr. Hawk has allegedly made a resurgence, and is quite possibly bigger than he’s ever been.

Stock photo models afraid of becoming memes

“I’m just taking this class for an easy A, I’m not looking to become a meme,” junior Jen Erica Photo said.

The underground professorhood: A groundboi night school

In the early hours of the morning with the cover of darkness and the moon high in the sky, a community of animals met at the stoop of a groundhog hole on the hill beside Jackson Court.

Manglesdorf launches campaign to end October

From the Humor Section: More major calendar-focused upheaval, such as changing November to Hendecavember and December to Dodecember will not be addressed during this survey period.

UR to be Named an Ivy School

Nichols also said that whenever she looks at the ivy it “brings back fond memories of [her] rejection letter from Cornell,” and she’s not the only one!

Help! I can’t get rid of my quarantine body

People keep telling me to “get rid of my quarantine body,” and there’s only one explanation: I’ve been found out.

I have taken the Flag Lounge into my own hands

There were 163 flags hanging in the lounge, each one three by five feet. That’s a lot to just "hide." Where are they now?

My drug-induced quarantine haze

Two weeks is a long time to spend alone with your thoughts. Maybe too long.