Narratives

Toddler detective, chapter 8

A bare bulb in a dark room. I feel like I've woken up from an eleven month nap. I think I'm a very long way from my crib.

Cage, the Elephant

Fans ranged from disappointed to infuriated as they left what they thought was supposed to be a rare Rochester performance…

Franklin and the chocolate factory

“Here we are,” said Scott Mistler-Ferguson, humor editor of the Campus Times, “this is the production room. This is where all the magic happens.”

I hate, therefore I am

Over winter break, in between stuffing my face with Christmas cookies and binge-watching episodes of “Glee,” I managed to read an entire book.

My brilliant but boycotted birthday bash

Ever since I turned nine my birthdays have gone downhill, all because some kids at school decided to boycott my birthday party.

A note from your housemates

Things are going to have to change between us now.

Divorcing the iPhone

I am proud to say I recently accomplished what few have managed to do before me. I left the iPhone.

Now taking applications for friends

Have you ever looked at one of your buddies and wondered why you two are friends?

Forget Canada, move to Africa

A lot of my American friends have been talking about moving to Canada if the big orange dictator with tiny hands wins the next election, but I think there are better destinations out there.

The man cold

Listen up, folks. We’re six whole weeks into the first semester, and it’s time to prepare yourself for the worst.