Narratives

A note from your housemates

Things are going to have to change between us now.

Divorcing the iPhone

I am proud to say I recently accomplished what few have managed to do before me. I left the iPhone.

Now taking applications for friends

Have you ever looked at one of your buddies and wondered why you two are friends?

Forget Canada, move to Africa

A lot of my American friends have been talking about moving to Canada if the big orange dictator with tiny hands wins the next election, but I think there are better destinations out there.

The man cold

Listen up, folks. We’re six whole weeks into the first semester, and it’s time to prepare yourself for the worst.

Master of trains

You may ask : What does it take to become the Master of Trains?

It’s okay to wear fur

When I purchase Sperrys, no one reminds me that a cow had to die for my shoes.

My demonic pet hamster

I was dead-set on getting a hamster.

Broken records

With his alarm blasting, head ringing, and heart sinking, senior Erik Franclin dragged himself out of bed.

The importance of flossing

You see, I have nice teeth. Like, REALLY nice teeth.