Do women really fake orgasms? And how often do they do it?


Dear Man-Without-A-Clue,

If I were to give you the simple answer to this question, it would be this – “Yes,” and, “all the time.” But instead, to make things a little more interesting and perhaps more realistic, I spent my winter break conducting research and interviews on this topic.

Originally, I considered asking men what they thought about women “faking it.” After conducting a few casual interviews in which all the men gave answers along the lines of, “I think girls fake it pretty rarily” – I realized that maybe I was taking the wrong approach. Besides, how on earth would men really know if their partners were “faking it”? Isn’t that what the whole point of “faking it” is in the first place?

I asked 37 women if they have ever “faked it,” what percentage of the time they think they “fake it” and if they think that guys are fooled by it. I asked 26 men if they thought women faked orgasms and how often they thought this happened. In the first female interview I conducted, the girl said, “I fake it every time.” In the first male interview I conducted, the guy said, “I think faking it is probably pretty rare.”

Ninety-two percent of the girls said they have faked or exaggerated an orgasm at least once.

Out of the guys, 51 percent said that they don’t think a girl has ever faked it when with them, 26 percent said that they think “maybe” a girl has faked it, but they “doubt it” and 23 percent of guys said that they think that girls have faked it with them.

In reality, it’s likely that men have experienced a fake orgasm with a girl and haven’t been able to tell the difference!

What this really tells us, however, is that there is clearly some sort of miscommunication between men and women. So, as the CT sex columnist, I encourage sexually active people to talk to their partners and be honest about what makes them feel good. After all, if someone isn’t willing to bend over backwards to make you truly orgasm, then you shouldn’t put the effort into any kind of performance for their sake.

Got a question about relationships, love or sex? E-mail Adrienne Monley for real answers to your real questions at

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