The UR Pride Network presented “Straight Up Drag,” this semester’s installment of the annual drag show on April 8. The show contained some surprises, and the kings and queens did an excellent job of diversifying each performance.
Ambrosia Salad opened the show with a monologue. She recalled her trip to Yale University’s campus drag show. “They didn’t even have speakers – they just had some guy holding a microphone up to a boom box,” she said.
The first performer to take the stage was Windz, who flew in from Brooklyn to be in the show. He turned out to be the perfect choice to get things started. Windz got the crowd hyped with his version of Justin Timberlake’s “Seniorita.” The audience was spellbound by his lithe, fluent dance moves. Perhaps he could have out dueled Timberlake himself in a dance-off. At the end of the performance, Windz lip- synched the lyrics, “Fellas, good night / Ladies, good morning.” The ladies in attendance went wild, while the men looked on with envy. Windz was definitely a crowd favorite, especially among the women. They didn’t even seem to mind his choice of attire – black Dickies and work boots.
The next performer was Frankie Starr. She pranced to Kelly Clarkson’s hit single, “Since You’ve Been Gone.” This performance was not entirely remarkable, except that people could be heard commenting about how pretty Frankie was.
Next up was Ambrosia. The seven-foot queen wore a pink halter top with a matching sarong littered with silver kisses. She danced to a techno remix of Doris Day’s “Que Sera Sera.” During the middle of her number, she exited the stage in order to straddle a freshman boy from Delaware who happened to be sitting in the first row. Sometime after her performance, Ambrosia told the audience that the boy had “tossed his first salad.” What a dirty little pun.
Clint Taurus followed Ambrosia. He gave a student a private lap dance to Ludacris’ “What’s Your Fantasy (Remix featuring Trina, Shawna and Foxy Brown).” At the end of the performance, Clint threw a female student onto the stage, laid her on her back and commenced dry humping. The crowd went absolutely mad.
Windz then gave a surprise additional performance, after Clint collected his dry-humping emissions from the stage, of course. Windz danced to Usher’s “Caught Up,” delivering a riveting and energetic performance.
Next, Pandora Boxx danced to a medley of Gwen Stefani hits. The playlist included “If I Were a Rich Girl,” “What You Waiting For,” Hey Baby” and “Hella Good.” Pandora wore a black tank top with cargo pants, keenly mimicking Stefani’s distinctive style. In the second set, Pandora was the first to hit the stage. She wore a red kickboxing robe-dress hybrid, which she shed at the end of her performance of Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter.”
Windz then took the stage for his third performance of the night. He danced to R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix).” There was really no good vantage point for witnessing his dancing because of the endless procession of tippers at the stage. Windz was undoubtedly the most popular performer at the show.
Clint then came on stage as, surprisingly, a she. It’s funny how the most surprising event of the night was having a woman, who dresses like a man, actually dress like a woman. The crowd applauded when Clint performed Stefani’s “Just a Girl.” Clint proved herself to be quite pretty, wearing a ripped black T-shirt, pink skirt and heels.
Ambrosia’s last number was Marilyn Manson’s “Personal Jesus.” The giant queen wore a black see-through dress that revealed black lingerie underneath. During the performance, I could only think about what the employees at Victoria’s Secret must have been thinking when Ambrosia asked for a dressing room.
The final number of the night was a bonus performance from Clint. Again, Clint performed as an “XX” instead of an “XY,” lip synching to Tracy Bonham’s “Mother Mother (Everything’s Fine).” This performance was not as novel, surprising or spirited as the first. Women who perform as women and men who perform as men are effectively doing karaoke – not drag.
The show ended after Ambrosia and Frankie hauled a student and her boyfriend on the stage to celebrate the young girl’s 21st birthday. Ambrosia made the students flash their chests to the audience before allowing them to sit back down.
If that’s not enough to get you to come to the next drag show, then there is no pleasing you.
Tipton can be reached at email@example.com.