Humor

A proposal to make football safer

Players would be much less likely to damage each other if all the padding was just removed entirely. Read More

ISIS releases official statement thanking Trump

ISIS heaped praise on The Donald for his most recent definitely-legal-and-practical policy position, claiming nothing they could do would be more valuable in their jihad against the West. Read More

Sleeping pods believed to be unproductive

A bizarre sight was spotted in the quiet section of Gleason Library; students were found what is believed to be sleeping in the pods funded by last year’s SA 5K challenge. Read More

This article is late

Before I start this article, I want to thank my editor for giving me an extension. Read More

R.I.P., Bobby Jindal’s 2016 presidential campaign

Today, we mourn Bobby Jindal, the two-term Republican governor of the great state of Louisiana. Read More

Hello? Hello!

My grandpa is getting to that age where he can’t hear anything you say and will interject with a “Huh?,” “What?” or “Hello?” several times during any given conversation. Read More

Pissing people off for college students

Here's how to piss people (specifically college students) off in their day-to-day lives. Read More

Sports fans ‘care’ about boxing, I mean UFC, again

Ronda Rousey was knocked out by Holly Holm on Sunday at some fight in Australia, the biggest thing to happen in boxing since the last time social media told us to watch a Rousey fight. Read More

What is art?

The first result on Google defines art as “the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in the form of painting, music, literature and dance.” Read More

Starbucks serves up a grande-hold the spirit-dose of holiday hell

For those of you reading this, congratulations on surviving the nuclear apocalypse that has surely taken place between the time this was written and the time it was published. Read More