This past Wednesday at the University of Rochester, a bizarre sight was spotted in the quiet section of Gleason Library; students were found what is believed to be sleeping in the pods funded by last year’s Student Association 5K challenge.

Primary witness Erik Coido, he stated, “Yeah, the other day was weird. It was late at night and I wanted to work in a sleeping pod, like usual, in order to hide my vision from the students who appear to be more productive than me with their work written on every inch of the white board. I got to the quiet section and began to sit when it hit me. Literally, I got hit. There was someone in here. After sitting down we both realized what had happened, and the student yelled at me for trying to use his pod. How was I supposed to expect a student to be asleep in one of those egg things?”

The scene, as described by Coido, involves someone sleeping in a sleeping pod­–a seemingly detrimental sight to the academic environment achieved by the social library, Gleason. Students are concerned moving forward. Senior A-Aron McAdams gave a concerned response when hearing about the incident. “I can’t believe the school is allowing students to take their academic ventures in this direction. Like, what is next? Next thing you will see is a reputable news source ranking us in the bottom  one percentile of all universities.”

UR  officials have released responses that can be summarized  in a few words; in short, they blame the weather. They feel that the warm December has led to a more active student body, tiring students out by the time of their normal study sessions. Another strike against global warming!

The shocking display of controversial library habits, nearly equivalent to using the Facebook, has even garnered comments from notable figures like Donald Trump. He said, “I blame Muslims.”



Sleeping pods believed to be unproductive

For graduated senior Helen Jackson, who hadn’t been able to go home for breaks for the past two years, these last few months have been a much-needed break. “I’m moving halfway across the country in July for my PhD program, so I probably won’t be able to come home very often after this,” she said. Read More

Sleeping pods believed to be unproductive

they could amicably share Daisy’s territory so long as Count Kipper (heretofore known as Lord Kipper of House Daisy), swore total fealty and obedience to Daisy’s cause. Read More

Sleeping pods believed to be unproductive

As recently as the early 2010s, it was standard practice for surgeons to provide 30 to 40 or more opioid pills for common, minimally invasive procedures. Most of these pills, however, would remain untouched, left over in the patient’s medical cabinet or kitchen pantries for potential misuse. A team of researchers led by URMC’s Dr. Jacob Moalem set out to reduce these opioid overprescriptions. Read More