Humor
Narratives
The diary of a student forgotten in Whipple Park
Hello to whoever finds this in the future. My name is Chad Spike, and I’m quarantining in Whipple Park because I got COVID-19. Read More
UR Joking
The major flaws with each major in STEM
I felt safe writing this article, mostly because I am operating under the assumption that only a small fraction of STEM majors can actually read anything other than scatter plots and Python. Read More
Satire
Letter to the Editor: In defense of Rocky
Rocky is a valuable, hardworking member of the community, as proven by his business endeavor on campus Rocky’s Sub Shop (and, posthumously until the libs get over this whole virus thing, Lounge). Read More
UR Joking
8 ways to make friends during a pandemic (#4 will SHOCK you!)
In these unprecedented, never-before-seen, new, foreign, unexplored times of quarantine, it’s more important than ever to remember that humans are social creatures. Read More
UR Joking
What to do with your Campus Times stickers
Here at UR, in an effort to be ever better and ever quirkier, several students have asked how to make this new merch really shine. Thus, here are a couple ideas on how to rep the CT brand (but not like all those other stickerers). Read More
UR Joking
Drink to the future: How one student became a psychic
So how did Noah Dafuture, a UR junior, gain his psychic powers? Dafuture attributes his success to drinking the mysterious liquid found inside a Magic 8 Ball. Read More
UR Joking
The beeping revolution: A timeline of events
The alarms became more and more regular. Soon enough they were ringing every day in Wilco. There were endless complaints. They had no idea how much ruin was in store for us all. Read More
UR Joking
Tips and tricks to acquire a declining daddy
Success is not guaranteed. Results may vary. Talk to your Doctor (Chatbot) if you think a Declining Daddy may be right for you. Read More
Satire
Help! My professor is an AI
It all began to add up. I wondered if it was possible for the University to outsource our learning to an AI that was capable of teaching a course. Read More
UR Joking
Junior sets prestigious record for amount of student organization rejections
As of this semester, a Rochester junior has successfully been rejected from all 359 clubs and organizations on campus. Chad Spike, who wished to remain anomalous, spent three years getting kicked out, turned away, and barred entry from literally every organization on campus. Read More
