Archives - Fabian Halblander

Why you shouldn’t roast STEM majors (although you know you want to)

I was raised around ableist jokes. I went to high school with them (I bet you did, too). But mediocre jokes point to ignorance, and often, complicity.

Browser hijacker… set me free

Sometimes I think maybe I should feel more threatened by whatever hawkish algorithm has its claws in my beloved Google Chrome. But this algorithm is less like a hawk and more like a pigeon — it really does not have the killer instinct that you’d expect of a newfangled browser-hijacker in the year of our Meliora 2021. 

CT is pro-mask… until…

Next time your friend or housekeeper or workshop leader mentions their mask smelling like eggs or sweat, don’t give them the side-eye or raise an eyebrow like the experience is completely foreign to you.

UR Shitpost

In Todd, I can be the one to flush the blue bleach in all five stalls Monday through Friday.

New new dining alternative proposed by Dining Services

“Give a yellowjacket a burrito bowl and you feed them for a day; teach a yellowjacket to fish, and you feed them for an entire business quarter."

Does Jeff Runner even run? The answer may shock you!

We ran a poll, and, astoundingly, of the four people we asked, not  a single person reported having ever seen Jeffrey Runner run.

Journal of a lonely student exposed, published in Museum of Natural History

The deepest caverns of my psyche are stuffed with gauzy, stringy globs of caterpillar silk and rendered inaccessible. Welcome to my twisted mind.

Working at the Moorings

It’s all very even-keel, obvious, often boring. But after a semester in the throes of college life at UR, in the type-A frenzy chamber, I savor that kind of boredom.

Exclusive interview with a UR dropout turned influencer

From the Humor section: It’s plain to see that monetizing your hotness, or “influencing,” is now a viable and maybe even preferential career option.

The major flaws with each major in STEM

I felt safe writing this article, mostly because I am operating under the assumption that only a small fraction of STEM majors can actually read anything other than scatter plots and Python.