Archives - Brianna Lindsey

Want some stew? Your first born’ll do!

Each and every attendee is no doubt thrilled about paying more for the Exact Same Thing!

Academic Rigor? I Barely Know Her

How could I, a student at such an academically rigorous university, be tricked into attending a university that was so academically rigorous??

What’s in a name, really?

In every language, in every culture, on every continent, in every household, something binds us all together — names.

Critical Fail: New Tabletop Gaming Club Members Face Hazing

This club is renowned for its dicey decisions, and strict roles for all its members. The club in question was none other than the dastardly, the one and only: Tabletop RPG club. 

Woodland Gods in Your Woods? It’s More Likely Than You Think.

To Whomever among the Petty Mortals It May Concern, We write to you, sinking to a level of pathetic bargaining hitherto unknown to immortal beings, to ask that you please, as humans say, fuck right off. 

Lonely Musings: A Mouse’s Memoir

Dear Diary: I got a piece of cheese from some student that thinks they’re the main character.

Move In Weekend: A Sports Commentary

Let me tell you folks, this is a real intense batch. We’ve already seen some creative use of sidewalk space, such as one first year Chatheiryn Smith, who took up 30 square feet of the PepsiCo Plaza with her nucleo-mercury retrograde-enlightened crystal collection. 

Elevating your elevator conversations

We’ve all been there, pressing that oh-so-shiny, round, absolutely irresistible button that will summon a hulking mass of metal to which you shall entrust your life to bring you up several hundred feet. The worst part of this death-trap-in-waiting? The most dreadful part of standing inside an iron cage hurtling skyward? Other people. 

Dealing with Snow

Because this is The First Time Ever that snow has fallen, here’s how to deal with the snow that plagues this campus (we could really use some of that “global warming” now, amirite?).

Help! My Upstairs Neighbors are having Fun

About that Irish step dance class… oof. That’s “totes not chill,” as I’m sure you and your hip friends have often put it. No hat, or something.