UR Joking
elevators will be elevators
TikTok trend spurs rise in campus elevators thefts
Close acquaintances of the dirty, dirty criminals claimed that one party “would sneak his hand in at the last second to feel how tight it squeezed." Read More
it's wet
Puddle-palooza!
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been sneak-attacked by a puddle on my treks across campus. A puddle. Read More
cult
Pep-less in Seattle
If greatness, achievement, or Ohio State’s Best Damn Band In The Land tickles your fancy, ditch those high hopes for rugby and a worn-out kazoo. Read More
dystopian future
“Love? In THIS economy?”
In a nation crumbling under political strife and the imminent threat of global warming, there’s clearly one issue that should take precedence above all others: my love life. Read More
bean there done that
Coffee! The all natural pick-me-up!
Due tomorrow does in fact mean do tomorrow. Read More
drug abuse
Drugging myself for fun and profit
I’m not a quitter anymore: I’m a starter. And I’m starting right now. Drugs, that is. Read More
hot and bothered
Hot single mascots in your area NOW
Of the two, Tony’s the bear and Chester’s the twink (non-derogatory, and quite enthusiastically, in fact). Different kitties for different tastes. Read More
ice ice baby
Slippery slope: more than just a fallacy
Despite ice being obviously not snow, members of the skiing club simply did not care, calling it close enough. Read More
College Town
The ‘Raw Laef’ lament
Me, trundling by you in the haet and swaet of a post-9-to-5 commute. You, a fucked-up misspelled storefront sign. Read More
pandemonium
Dozens pharbified in Eastman Quad terror attack, WRUR suspected culprit
All that could be heard was the sound of Phoebe Bridgers’s “Funeral,” distorted by the wind and the just-audible sobs of pharbified students crying in the bushes. Read More
