Once upon a time, there was a writer, disillusioned and ill-mannered, who stumbled into College Town with naught but a grumbling in the stomach and a hankering for Chipotle. There they came across a building, stately and sure, with lime-green lighting to accentuate its haed shoppiness. It wasn’t much with a cursory glance, but little did they know that when they passed the street-facing storefront, it would bring them the graetest possible joy and inspiration.

That was you and I once. I basked in your sickly glow to and from the Dollar Tree, and you shone back at me with pride. The pride, I felt, may have been unwarranted, given that your signage was woefully misspelled, but it began to grow on me. I wasn’t as interested in the correctly-spelled side of you. I loved you for all of your flaws (just the one). But then, one day, all the letters fell into place — correctly.

Oh, my darling. How they have massacred you. They have torn you apart and put you back together, but nothing will ever be how it once was. Me, trundling by you in the haet and swaet of a post-9-to-5 commute. You, a fucked-up misspelled storefront sign.

Maybe I only valued you for the facade you displayed. Maybe I messed up by not valuing your insides more. Maybe I should start buying weed. No matter what I do, though, it won’t bring you back. You will stay in my haert as “Raw Laef” forever, and you have changed my world.



The ‘Raw Laef’ lament

With a class size of about 1,400 students representing 45 different US states and 27 countries worldwide, URochester’s Class of 2030 has officially arrived and is settling in.  Read More

The ‘Raw Laef’ lament

For those who don’t know, the goal of Banana Ball is to fill absolutely every second of dead time in which the game on the field might lose the crowd’s attention. That means loud clips of popular music blaring every second of the game, bonus points for trick plays (for example, catching a pop-fly mid-backflip), and constant audience involvement. Read More

The ‘Raw Laef’ lament

As students struggle with the challenge of paying such incredible sums of money to get their degree, one large contributing factor is the exorbitant cost of college meal plans. These plans, once a simple solution for the inevitable inconvenience of cooking on-campus, have quietly become a large revenue stream for educational institutions and their dining service providers.  Read More