Once upon a time, there was a writer, disillusioned and ill-mannered, who stumbled into College Town with naught but a grumbling in the stomach and a hankering for Chipotle. There they came across a building, stately and sure, with lime-green lighting to accentuate its haed shoppiness. It wasn’t much with a cursory glance, but little did they know that when they passed the street-facing storefront, it would bring them the graetest possible joy and inspiration.

That was you and I once. I basked in your sickly glow to and from the Dollar Tree, and you shone back at me with pride. The pride, I felt, may have been unwarranted, given that your signage was woefully misspelled, but it began to grow on me. I wasn’t as interested in the correctly-spelled side of you. I loved you for all of your flaws (just the one). But then, one day, all the letters fell into place — correctly.

Oh, my darling. How they have massacred you. They have torn you apart and put you back together, but nothing will ever be how it once was. Me, trundling by you in the haet and swaet of a post-9-to-5 commute. You, a fucked-up misspelled storefront sign.

Maybe I only valued you for the facade you displayed. Maybe I messed up by not valuing your insides more. Maybe I should start buying weed. No matter what I do, though, it won’t bring you back. You will stay in my haert as “Raw Laef” forever, and you have changed my world.



Laura van den Berg comes to the University of Rochester as part of the Plutzik Reading Series

On Nov. 14, critically acclaimed fiction author Laura van den Berg came to UR as part of the Plutzik Reading Series.

Students’ Association passes resolution on administration’s response to “wanted” posters, demands charges dropped

On Monday evenings, the Gowen Room is usually nearly empty aside from the senators at the weekly Students’ Association Senate meeting. But on Nov. 18, nearly every seat was filled.

Flirting with your hiring managers

If you’d allow me the pleasure of gracing the hallowed halls of your esteemed company, it would endear me greatly.