Humor

Forget Canada, move to Africa

A lot of my American friends have been talking about moving to Canada if the big orange dictator with tiny hands wins the next election, but I think there are better destinations out there. Read More

Campus convenience apps

The beauty of the modern era is just how convenient it is to live in. Lazy people—myself included—can thrive with the multitude of apps available at our fingertips. Read More

Freshmen take off masks, revealing personalities

After nearly two months of making friends, building connections, and switching majors/entire life goals every other week, the freshmen have finally ripped off their masks and skin suits. Read More

Poking fun at the news

California has banned sex for killer whales kept in captivity. In response, moviemakers are casting for the new installment of “Free Willy’s Willy.” Read More

The man cold

Listen up, folks. We’re six whole weeks into the first semester, and it’s time to prepare yourself for the worst. Read More

UR to build theme park with extra money

Just like that, the University had once again set to work on another goddamn construction project. Read More

Master of trains

You may ask : What does it take to become the Master of Trains? Read More

Bad advice from Brian

Most of my nights are spent drinking dates and going on beers with women. Read More

Survivors of the presidential debate drinking game

It had seemed simple, but they’d been so wrong. Read More

It’s okay to wear fur

When I purchase Sperrys, no one reminds me that a cow had to die for my shoes. Read More