I believe, above all else, in reinventing oneself in an instant. I think it’s important to constantly change your look, signifiers, personality, etc. This importance only increases as you look at people, groups, or institutions with room to improve. Therefore, I would like to submit a brief set of ideas for redefining the UR brand.

The new and improved “Meliora”:

“Abandon hope”: borrowing from Dante’s Inferno would serve well to help incoming freshman to set their expectations low.

“In Starbucks, we trust”: Our school motto should reflect our values and ideals above all else.

“Punish. Your. Bank Account”: If you say it like it’s a challenge maybe people won’t complain as much.

“Winter is Coming”: You’re goddamn right it is.

“Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure”: I don’t think anyone would argue with me that the University is the Ravenclaw of J.K. Rowling’s magical world. “Everybody makes mistakes”: Hannah Montana’s genius is relevant in every facet of our lives as college students.

 

The new and improved Rochester Blue and Dandelion Yellow:

Black and yellow. We need to pay better homage to our school mascot.

A conglomerate of every Ivy League school’s colors: If we want to stop being a “little ivy,” we better start acting like one of the big kids.

Gold and gold. Because we are number one in every way.

Silver and bronze. Okay, fine, maybe we’re not number one—but we’re up there.

Every color of the rainbow. In this way, we assert our dominance as the most diverse school in the world.

Red, white, and blue: These colors don’t run.

 

The new and improved Rocky the Yellowjacket:

The Genessee: A picturesque visual of the river from centuries ago when it didn’t look like slow-moving mud.

Eddie: An overworked, malnourished, fatigued Take Five student.

Joel the Groundhog: If you catch him, you get an extra year of NCAA eligibility!

Grimace from McDonald’s: Nothing says perfect branding strategy like the world’s second largest fast food chain. They’d probably give us free Big Macs for it.

An iron fist: Because at this institution, we respect power above all else.



UR Womens’ Lacrosse trounces Nazareth 17-5

UR’s Womens’ Lacrosse team beat Nazareth University 17–5 on Tuesday at Fauver Stadium.

Banality in Search of Evil: The College Democrats and Republicans Debate

Far from a debate, it felt like I was witnessing a show trial.

Colin’s Review Rundown: Future and Metro Boomin, Lizzy McAlpine, Benson Boone, Civerous

Is it bad? Definitely not! But I found myself continually checking my phone to see how many tracks were left.