Humor

Toddler detective, chapter 5

Mommy drove me over to Scarlet’s for what was nominally a “play-date,” but, in reality, a full-scale investigation that could leave some scars. Read More

Students experiment with new drug, REM

Spring is in the air and students are desperately turning to a new illicit substance to combat the pain of midterms. Read More

Poking Fun at the News: Disney movies, Cambodia, and Donald Trump

Cops arrested a suspect as he was driving around in a child’s bright pink toy car. The man is expected to be sentenced—to a very long timeout. Read More

The Slogan Debunker

Slogans are pivotal marketing opportunities for groups, and I have been tasked with assessing the logic behind a few popular slogans. Read More

My beautiful dark twisted idea book

I was interested to see what ideas didn’t actually make it past the drawing board, so we reached out to DONDA Headquarters (located entirely in Mr. West’s imagination), and were happy to receive this comprehensive list of game-changers, broken down into several categories. Read More

Big decorates wrong side of room, leaves roommate pissed

This past Friday, upon returning from a three day trip in order to present her research in Seattle, freshman Hannah Moore opened her dorm to what she described as a nightmare. Read More

Student sets new personal best

The snowstorm of February 2016 will always be remembered by UR students. Whatever your reason may be—frustration that classes weren't all canceled, a day full of sledding, or a date with Netflix—it certainly wasn't a day to forget about. Read More

Toddler detective, chapter 3

Drifting off, I had the strange sensation of floating. Suddenly, I found myself walking in a field. Sunflowers as far as I could see, the sky an unnaturally pale blue. Jeez, I said to myself, this is what happens when you hit the sauce too hard. Read More

Poking fun at the news: Affluenza, extraterrestrials and Sanders tattoos

Another case of affluenza has been reported in Tarrant County, Texas. Doctors say that it isn’t contagious, but can be passed down from parent to child. Read More

Snow day better than no day

What I’m going to do here is provide a play-by-play of how I spent the day at my off-campus home, and why, if you didn’t do exactly as I did, you were wrong. Read More