My name is Pete, and I am the CT’s Senior Slogan Debunker. Slogans are pivotal marketing opportunities for groups, and I have been tasked with assessing the logic behind a few popular slogans.   

  1. Fed Ex – “When there is no tomorrow.”

Why would I use any delivery service if I knew there was no tomorrow?

  1. The American Red Cross – “The greatest tragedy is indifference.”

The American Red Cross goes with this slogan, despite dealing with numerous medical emergencies. This really puts things into perspective for you. The only thing worse than being in a medical emergency is deliberating which hospital you should go to.

  1. AT&T – “Reach out and touch someone.”

This one is fairly creepy. Reach out and touch someone so that they use their phone’s AT&T service to call for help. Maybe it works.

  1. Kentucky Fried Chicken – “Nobody does chicken like KFC,” or “We do chicken right.”

From a chicken’s perspective, I’d hate to see what KFC constitutes as “doing a chicken wrong.” Maybe a better slogan would be, “Every time a chicken dies, a customer gets his wings.”

  1. Energizer – “Keeps going and going and going.”

No battery lasts forever. Inevitably, this slogan refers to diminishing battery life.

  1. Apple – “Think different.”

Should I be using a Dell instead? How many slogans encourage you to go with some other product? The reverse logic is so bold, it works. I envision Bernie Sanders using this, but tweaking the second half so that the slogan reads, “Think Hillary.”

  1. Mountain Dew – “Drink Code Red – A Sensation as Real as the Streets.”

Who thought of this and have they ever actually lived on the streets? “You know that feeling of not having a home? Let’s put that feeling into a bottle of Mountain Dew.”

  1. Arby’s – “What are you eating today?”

If I was willingly at an Arby’s, I’d probably be asking myself that same question.

  1. Smokey the Bear – “Only YOU can prevent forest fires.”

Only me? I’ve never known too much about forest fires, but now that I’m the only one who can do anything about it, the stakes have risen. I’m not sure I’m the chosen one, though. I can’t even put out a birthday candle with one breath. Come to think of it, I don’t know any rules about dealing with fire. Is that when you stop, drop, and roll? Or is that a new dancing rave? No, when someone catches fire, you’re supposed to whip, then watch them Nae Nae.

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