This past Friday, upon returning from a three day trip in order to present her research in Seattle, freshman Hannah Moore opened her dorm to what she described as a nightmare. “I couldn’t believe it, they were, everywhere,” Hannah commented, “They just hung streamers and things on my side of the room. I am not the Little!”

When asked what had really aggravated her or shocked her, Moore responded, “There were so many balloons. The Eco-Rep in me could just see young dolphins choking on the remains in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Did you know it takes years for those floating death traps to decompose?”

The decorations were only the beginning of her frustration. “There were posters, too. Oh the posters,”she said, cringing, “One said ‘Finally HΔmΣ!’ This makes zero sense. Delta is a D in the greek alphabet, and sigma is an S. What does ‘HDMS’ mean? Some secret society stuff, maybe.”

Later that weekend, Hannah observed what to many would’ve been the last straw, a BigLovesLilMonica (Monica is Moore’s roommate) Facebook profile had made its rounds on the Internet. Thankfully, Moore saw this as flattering. “It was kinda cool seeing pictures of me that I had totally forgotten about,” she commented. “I mean, that time when I was young with braces may have been the most awkward part of my life, but I guess it’s nice to be occasionally rooted in the past. Maybe I should join a sorority?”



Colin’s Review Rundown: Future and Metro Boomin, Lizzy McAlpine, Benson Boone, Civerous

Is it bad? Definitely not! But I found myself continually checking my phone to see how many tracks were left.

An open letter to all members of any university community

I strongly oppose the proposed divestment resolution. This resolution is nothing more than another ugly manifestation of antisemitism at the University.

Hippo Campus’ D-Day show was to “Ride or Die” for

Hippo Campus’ performance was a well-needed break from the craze of finals, and just as memorable as their name would suggest.