For those of you who didn’t take advantage of Tuesday’s snow day, I feel bad for you, son, but I got 99 problems, all of which were effectively ignored on my day off from life. What I’m going to do here is provide a play-by-play of how I spent the day at my off-campus home, and why, if you didn’t do exactly as I did, you were wrong.
8:40 a.m.: I wake up to an alarm an hour before my 9:40 class is scheduled to start. I look out my window and see snow—I have no idea how much, and, quite frankly, didn’t see it coming. It was one brief look, and I remember it being white outside. This alone is enough for me to go back to bed. I didn’t need an email from my professor to tell me that sleeping was the right answer here. I shut my alarm off and go back under the covers.
10:15 a.m.: I wake up again without an alarm feeling well-rested and ready to start my day. I check my email via phone to find out that all three of my classes are cancelled. Not only does this validate my decision to sleep in, it gives me the unique opportunity to not leave the house at all. I immediately jump out of bed to yell, “Snow day!” as loud as I can to wake up my housemates and let them know the good news.
10:30 a.m.: Apparently, not all classes are cancelled. This is shocking, but just a minor speedbump in getting my housemates to spend the day doing nothing with me.
10:45 a.m.: I’m only able to convince one of my housemates that his classes aren’t worth attending. This is fine, though, because a couple of friends from down the road are also taking the day off, and are on their way over. Besides, my other two housemates that decided to walk to school were wrong.
11:30 a.m.: We make enough eggs and sausage to feed a small village and decide to watch the movie “Dope,” a film about three nerds who really like 90s hip-hop, growing up in a bad Los Angeles neighborhood where the path of least resistance is a bad path to take. Think “good kid m.A.A.d city,” but nerdier. As a few white kids from the suburbs, of course we’re all huge hip-hop fans. We each have a couple of beers with breakfast.
1:00 p.m.: “Dope” is great, and I recommend it. At this point, we realize we haven’t listened to Kanye’s new album yet today and need to do so for the first of many times that day. Sculpin is delicious.
Let me use this platform to pause for a second and pitch “The Life of Pablo” (Kanye’s album) to you. First of all, Kanye West is a genius and has and will continue to accomplish more in his life than you or I ever will. You can maintain the opinion that Kanye’s a scumbag and that his public persona is aggravating, but don’t ever think for a second that you can accuse him of not being a musical genius. Anyway, this album is inventive in ways that no artist other than Kanye could have brought to the table. It has all the classic elements of Kanye music—chopped up creative sampling, seamless yet disruptive transitioning, and lyrics that are meant to elicit strong feelings and emotion. If I can simplify the 58-minute album within a few thoughts, it’s sad. Kanye’s central theme being that he has everything that should have brought peace to his life, but still feels unsettled, still feels negative influences, and still wants more. It’s a crisis of faith that is only partially resolved, with Kanye choosing to place his trust in the hands of the only power higher than his to exist—God. These ideas are relatable and fresh, and presented in a way only Kanye can. Frankly, the album makes other music sound boring, and it’s worth your time.
2:00 p.m.: Okay, we’re back, and we’ve just finished listening to “The Life of Pablo.” We’re hungry and throw a Wegmans Bake & Rise Pizza, Four Cheese, into the oven. No surprises here, it’s fantastic. For those who haven’t tried it, I would recommend you pick up a 12-pack of the Sierra Nevada Beer Camp 2016 IPA. It’s good stuff.
2:30 p.m.: It’s time to watch “House of Flying Daggers.” I’m less into this movie than I was with “Dope,” but it’s still a fun and a visually pleasing Chinese martial arts/drama/fighting/action/etc. movie. My lack of doing anything is starting to make me very tired, and I have difficulty keeping up with the loosely translated subtitles. I need coffee.
5:00 p.m.: I consider taking a nap, but my hunger is more powerful than my desire to sleep. Being so dormant all day is taking its toll and I am forced to heat up old Chinese food in order to stay awake. I decide to crack a Cream Ale for good measure.
5:30 p.m.: “Rush Hour 2” is next up—an amazing movie indeed. With all the race-related jokes and themes that persist between Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, this classic could never be released today, but it’s great for some politically-incorrect comic relief.
7:00 p.m.: “Rush Hour” follows. This is not a typo—we watched the second one first. After experiencing a piece of the golden era of movies, we weren’t ready to leave and decided to play the original. This film pairs well with a nice bottle of red wine.
8:30 p.m.: I’m nearly exhausted after watching three or some odd hours of essentially the same fantastic movie. No regrets, though—we knew what we were getting into when we started. Exhaustion becomes hunger, and it’s time to heat up a plate of pizza rolls and bake brownies.
9:00 p.m.: If you’re still with me, thank you. Rest assured that my day is almost over. We listen to “The Life of Pablo” another two times and clear our dance floor to jump around and rap along to lyrics that we’ve learned all of since the album’s release three days ago. Firmly and naturally on the Genny train at this point.
11:00 p.m.: It’s time to go to bed. I have a 9 a.m. class that probably isn’t cancelled.
Now you might look at this day and say, “Wow. All you did all day was watch movies, drink, and eat junk food. I’m so jealous; I had class and put myself in danger walking through a blizzard.” True as that may be, you had the same options I had, and I’m sure the world wouldn’t have stopped if you sent an email or two to avoid some prior obligations. Everyone was aware of the blizzard. Who would have stopped you?