Humor
donald trump
Donald Trump’s quest for world peace
Donald Trump’s foreign policy approach is to “shout loudly and grab your small dick; *they’ll* go far.” Read More
D-Day
Following D-Day example, University professor tries to bag the huzz
Rattled by Pope Francis’ death, 89-year-old University professor Ben Dover decided the only way to find peace was to watch this year’s D-Day performer, Ferg. He later recounted to the CT that this was a great decision, as he quickly got over his grief when he “saw the huzz.” “In my old age, I just […]
bathroom creatures
Showerhead danger
Bathrooms are dangerous. That is a fact. There are many things that could go incredibly wrong in a bathroom. Whether it’s drowning in a toilet, drowning in the sink, drowning in the shower, or the worst of the all: slipping when getting out of the shower and hitting your head on the opposing wall which […]
brain wrinkles
Roachester’s new delicacy
Now, the next time you get charged by a roach after entering Simon Business School or have to play with way-too-small beetles, just scoop them up with your hand, roast them, and now you have a perfect meal to enjoy. Read More
Midterms
Top 5 Campus Napping Spots
And here’s another perk: You also get to wake up in a surprisingly new location every time — teleportation style. Read More
Campus Times
Support the Student Newspaper
Help wanted! After everyone’s mass resignation event during the production of our previous issue, the Campus Times is now in shambles. Read More
a discussion
UR College Republicans protest Trump admin’s threats to free speech
"College Republicans around the country have spent the better part of a decade professing their absolute commitment to free speech, so why would we be silent now?" said the president of the club. Read More
April Fools
Bird Flu? I sure hope they did!
We asked her if she’s ever seen one of these species fly before, when they wanted to, of course. Duck let out a nervous chuckle and flushed bright red, fidgeting in her chair. Read More
April Fools
I do, I don’t, I really don’t: The Marriage Pact story
Once again, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that this school is goddamn tiny, and do you really want to marry anyone you took Calculus with? Read More
