Gabriel Jiang
Class of 2028
Gabriel Jiang was born at a very young age. He is currently a Humor Editor for the Campus Times and part of the 2028 graduating class. He majors in Biology (as of now). Normally, that person writes for humor and only humor and only knows humor. Outside of Campus Times, Gabriel somewhat regularly dabbles in clarinet-ing and origami-ing. ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
CCP
Foodborne illnesses send public into panic
RFK Jr. put out a statement to reassure the public that foodborne illnesses are there to add flavor to the food and make it an unforgettable experience. Read More
blood
Don’t Donate Blood
Donating blood is a bad idea and you shouldn’t do it. Just think about it. Think about it real hard. It’s your own blood, and you really need it. Read More
date
Dating the voices in my head
Chat, did I make a mistake? I went on a date with the voices in my head and I liked it. It was a bit of an unplanned date, but what else are you supposed to do when none of your friends will have dinner with you? Read More
birth
Eulogy for Brian Ly
spending his time “flirting with hiring managers,” and urging those like him to “mog the huzz with your chopped aura.” Read More
migration
The great mosquito migration
The first mosquito explorer has officially discovered a new island habitable to all mosquitolings. This day marks a big occasion for all mosquito-kind, as this island means paradise. Read More
babies
Candy stolen from babies at Strong Memorial Hospital
Currently, officials suspect that the robbers took the candy using a stolen utility ladder and glass-breaking power tools to enter through the back window. Read More
addiction
LEGO addiction
I’ve even walked in on him curled up on the floor on a Lego magic circle, trying to sacrifice his soul for more LEGO. Read More
big back
Food package party: “big-backing”
It’s all just a marketing scheme to steal money from us poor consumers and give them to Big Chip. Read More