Gabriel Jiang
Humor Editor
Class of 2028
gjiang6@u.rochester.edu
Gabriel Jiang was born at a very young age. He is currently a Humor Editor for the Campus Times and part of the 2028 graduating class. He majors in Biology (as of now). Normally, that person writes for humor and only humor and only knows humor. Outside of Campus Times, Gabriel somewhat regularly dabbles in clarinet-ing and origami-ing. ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
babies
Candy stolen from babies at Strong Memorial Hospital
Currently, officials suspect that the robbers took the candy using a stolen utility ladder and glass-breaking power tools to enter through the back window.
addiction
LEGO addiction
I’ve even walked in on him curled up on the floor on a Lego magic circle, trying to sacrifice his soul for more LEGO.
big back
Food package party: “big-backing”
It’s all just a marketing scheme to steal money from us poor consumers and give them to Big Chip.
bathroom creatures
Showerhead danger
Bathrooms are dangerous. That is a fact. There are many things that could go incredibly wrong in a bathroom. Whether…
brain wrinkles
Roachester’s new delicacy
Now, the next time you get charged by a roach after entering Simon Business School or have to play with way-too-small beetles, just scoop them up with your hand, roast them, and now you have a perfect meal to enjoy.
Campus Times
Support the Student Newspaper
Help wanted! After everyone’s mass resignation event during the production of our previous issue, the Campus Times is now in shambles.
kitchen utensil
The grate-ness of graters
Also, the variety of things that can be grated are out of this world. Ranging from vegetables to cheeses, all things can be improved by this humble kitchen tool.
baby
Baby presses charges against mother for being born
the birth was so unsatisfactory that the plaintiff received auditory and visual trauma from the disgust and harassment from the doctors, as well as sustained neglect from the mother subsequent to their birth.
life changing
Life-changing scam emails
Navigating the world of scam emails can be complex, but once you learn the ropes on how to maximize the dopamine rushes from these emails, your life will be changed forever.
