The first mosquito explorer has officially discovered a new island habitable to all mosquitolings. This day marks a big occasion for all mosquito-kind, as this island means paradise. With the recent changes in the environmental and political climate, many mosquitoes have had enough and decided to find a place more livable. 

After three long months and braving five hurricanes, they have finally found it. This new island allowed the mosquitoes a break from the rising heat and hostility in both their environmental and political climates. They enjoyed cooler temperatures year-round and plenty of fresh food — including limited-edition blood flavors previously never tasted. 

One traveling mosquito exclaimed, “EEEEEEeeeeeeeEEE,” clearly excited for this new change in life. 

However, not everyone is too fond of such a discovery. “I was just trying to breathe in the fresh, crisp, wintery air when I inhaled an entire family of five mosquitoes,” Cat Crawford said. 

At press time, masses of mosquitoes were spotted flying out to the island for a chance at a better life.



The great mosquito migration

As Alice and Peter arrive in Hell, they chase after their advisor through a series of Hell’s courts, which test their magical knowledge — and their relationship. Read More

The great mosquito migration

they could amicably share Daisy’s territory so long as Count Kipper (heretofore known as Lord Kipper of House Daisy), swore total fealty and obedience to Daisy’s cause. Read More

The great mosquito migration

However, recent student protests are considerably less effective than they used to be. According to The American Prospect, there were far fewer young attendees to the most recent round of No Kings marches in proportion to the attendance of older generations. Read More