Gabriel Jiang
Class of 2028
Gabriel Jiang was born at a very young age. He is currently a Humor Editor for the Campus Times and part of the 2028 graduating class. He majors in Biology (as of now). Normally, that person writes for humor and only humor and only knows humor. Outside of Campus Times, Gabriel somewhat regularly dabbles in clarinet-ing and origami-ing. ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
date
Dating the voices in my head
Chat, did I make a mistake? I went on a date with the voices in my head and I liked it. It was a bit of an unplanned date, but what else are you supposed to do when none of your friends will have dinner with you? Read More
birth
Eulogy for Brian Ly
spending his time “flirting with hiring managers,” and urging those like him to “mog the huzz with your chopped aura.” Read More
migration
The great mosquito migration
The first mosquito explorer has officially discovered a new island habitable to all mosquitolings. This day marks a big occasion for all mosquito-kind, as this island means paradise. Read More
babies
Candy stolen from babies at Strong Memorial Hospital
Currently, officials suspect that the robbers took the candy using a stolen utility ladder and glass-breaking power tools to enter through the back window. Read More
addiction
LEGO addiction
I’ve even walked in on him curled up on the floor on a Lego magic circle, trying to sacrifice his soul for more LEGO. Read More
big back
Food package party: “big-backing”
It’s all just a marketing scheme to steal money from us poor consumers and give them to Big Chip. Read More
bathroom creatures
Showerhead danger
Bathrooms are dangerous. That is a fact. There are many things that could go incredibly wrong in a bathroom. Whether it’s drowning in a toilet, drowning in the sink, drowning in the shower, or the worst of the all: slipping when getting out of the shower and hitting your head on the opposing wall which […]
brain wrinkles
Roachester’s new delicacy
Now, the next time you get charged by a roach after entering Simon Business School or have to play with way-too-small beetles, just scoop them up with your hand, roast them, and now you have a perfect meal to enjoy. Read More
