Do you feel like your meal plan isn’t giving you enough food to live off of, or just that you’re no longer satisfied with the food options in the dining halls? Well, let me tell you that it’s your lucky day. A new popular food is spreading around the University of Rochester River Campus, and the supply is not expected to run out anytime soon. This new food with exploding popularity is Periplaneta Americana — the American Cockroach.

If you’ve stepped in a dorm (or any building on campus), you probably have been graced with the presence of such a delicacy — or maybe it’s just been so long that you chose to forget about those times. Now, it’s common practice to catch these roaches and flame grill them over an open fire in the middle of Wilson Quadrangle. With the light seasoning of salt and pepper, the flavors of these little critters hit like that childhood memory of Kumon work. The extra crunch they come with brings out the fresh taste even more. Bonus: They’re also high in protein. 

If freshly-caught roaches right from the source aren’t quite your style, the new shipment of beetles for the BIOL-099 lab will definitely tickle those brain wrinkles of yours. They’re small and just the right size to pack and travel with. The small crunch they produce is instantly followed by a wave of juiciness unlike all else. With the high growth rate of these beetles, it’ll be impossible for you to be lacking food.

Now, the next time you get charged by a roach after entering Simon Business School or have to play with way-too-small beetles, just scoop them up with your hand, roast them, and now you have a perfect meal to enjoy.



University protest policy divides students and administrators

Some students claim that the University has been inconsistent in its responses, with individuals facing the same sanction violation charges and punishments for differing alleged levels of involvement.

The State of the Campus Times

As Publisher, I aimed to build upon the remarkable work of the previous publisher and staff — from increasing print circulation to a greater abundance in advertisement — and we have made significant progress this past year. 

Audiobooks are books and we should say so

Engage with books however you want. Don’t we have better uses for our time than to pick apart how other people take in information?