UR Joking

Cease and desist, humor editors!

Please, I beg of you, please stop sending me emails. I’ll do anything! I’ll take an 8 a.m. class with mandatory attendance! I’ll fill out Dr. Chatbot every day! I’ll fix my sleep schedule! Anything! Truly! Read More

Friendless friendsgiving

So, you want to hold a Friendsgiving, but there’s just one problem: you have no friends. Well, settle down, my lonesome pupil, you’ve come to the right place! Read More

Zombie groundbois take over University post-Halloween, face little resistance

“Bwaiiiiins!” was the rallying cry of the undead rodent army that took over River Campus this past week, slaughtering countless students for their juicy, powerful thinking meats. Read More

November’s champion: Spooks, sleighs, or squawks?

There is one question which haunts, jingles, and squawks in the distance — which holiday is November really about? Read More

CT Eats: Brainnnns

It smelled absolutely wonderful, and the texture was the perfect level of vomit-inducing for my taste.  Read More

Rocky gets sexy, then swarmed

She and her friends brainstormed all the sexy costumes they could think of, such as a sexy Veggie Tales, a sexy “drop dat apple” Isaac Newton, a sexy Griswold v. Connecticut, and a sexy Grab & Go sandwich, until finally they arrived at sexy Rocky the Yellowjacket. Read More

GAC rivals Meliora monkey lab for worst vibes on campus

I leave sweating, not from pumping some iron, but in fear of Chad, Brad, and Thad, who might just be running a gym cult. Read More

No more dirty pockets: Hot Refrigerator is coming to campus

Pizzas! Pastas! Hamburgers! The Hot Refrigerator™ can do it all!!!!!** Buy it before I replace your spleen with Jenga blocks!!!! Read More

The great orgo lab-off

I’ve always compared chemistry labs to the technical challenges in the reality TV show, “The Great British Baking Show.” The directions are vague, the mistakes are many.  Read More

New new dining alternative proposed by Dining Services

“Give a yellowjacket a burrito bowl and you feed them for a day; teach a yellowjacket to fish, and you feed them for an entire business quarter." Read More