Humor
Humor
M. Night: accidental master of meta
"After Earth", an inadvertent masterpiece of postmodernism? Read More
Humor
Poll finds more students wear CT than read CT
An internal Campus Times poll conducted campus-wide has revealed “startling” information about the changing nature of news in the 21st century. According to the poll, the majority of the wearership of CT issues comes from the sororities and fraternities on campus. According to anonymous sources, members of an unnamed sorority enjoy “getting crafty and dressing […]
Humor
Starbucks to add ‘ambient’ lighting
Sunday morning, UR’s Starbucks representative, Ven T. Verona, announced that Starbucks would be removing the lights found in their Wilson Commons location to “embrace an ethos that is spreading across America”. Starbucks is of course referring to the outbreak of so-called “boutique coffee shops” known for their “adorably” small servings and dimly lit, homey cafes. […]
Humor
Objective study finds that UR Concerts has worst musical taste on campus
An objective study released by the Office of the Dean of Students asserts that UR Concerts, the student organization whose role is to bring musical performers to campus, has the worst taste of any funded group by the UR Student Association. The study’s objectivity was authenticated by the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Affairs Tuesday […]
Humor
‘Rochester Goggles’, innovating education
When I came to the UR as a freshman, I was presented with the theory of “Rochester Goggles”, a concept which spawned from the lack of attractive students at the University. The theory states that once a student has been at the school long enough, they adorn their own figurative pair of Rochester Goggles and […]
Humor
Campus Times receives ‘award’
Early Monday morning, UR President Joel Seligman announced that the Campus Times had received “an award.” Though the award credits all the sections of the paper, it highlights the CT’s pitch-perfect ethics and opinions section. The award also credits various editors, who remain unnamed, for not including header lines on the tops of their pages. […]
Humor
A look at people in history who deserve some credit
I just finished watching “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer”, and I think the McGraw-Hill textbooks really missed some important facts about Lincoln. Thanks to Lincoln, the United States avoided a huge vampire takeover. Why is this overlooked? The 16th president deserves some credit—after all, he saved the entire country from one real pain in the neck. […]
Humor
Fictitious letter from a man stranded in Atlantic
Call me Ishmael. Just kidding, my name is Herman. Whomever reads this message that I have put into a bottle, I am stranded out in the middle of the Atlantic, and I can guarantee that you and I are not in the same boat. I ran out of Doritos about an hour ago and all […]
Humor
Students sober, parents outraged
Every spring , UR holds Dandelion Day (D-Day, as it is more commonly known), a day where students come together out from the darkness of the tunnels to enjoy the sun and socialize. Recently, there has been a lack of participation amongst students. Students tend to stay indoors, opting to study for exams rather than […]
