Humor
Humor
Hotline Rochester: Redux
I was at my apartment, lying on my couch with images of the rooster and the biker still in my head. “Sussudio,” by Phil Collins was playing in the background to help clear my mind. His solo career was more commercial and more satisfying to me, but in a narrower way. My phone started ringing […]
Humor
Joel Seligman: A candid encounter
I saw Joel Seligman at the CVS on Mt. Hope Avenue yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. “Oh, like you’re doing now?” he asked me. I was taken aback, and […]
Humor
Ang Lee probes bestiality in ‘Life of Pi’ sequel
Director Ang Lee has decided to return to “Life of Pi” after its massive box-office success in 2012. The sequel, Lee shared, will start off where the previous movie left off. “Pi returns to the island where the tiger Richard Parker left him,” Lee said. “Once Pi finds him, he develops a new complex love […]
Humor
Hotline Rochester: A prelude
Relatively late Monday night, a number of my droogs and I went to the presidential mansion. We were searching for something greater than ourselves, greater than everything and everyone. We were in search of Joel. There were mind-altering agents. The first inclination that something was going awry was the giant walrus that leaped out one […]
Humor
Seligman ‘perplexed’ by CT
In an exclusive interview with the Campus Times, University President Joel Seligman expressed utter confusion over his disproportionate representation in the Humor section. “Quite frankly, I’m perplexed,” Seligman said. In the past year, the CT has lampooned Seligman through numerous cartoons and fake news articles, many of which conflate Seligman with questionable behaviors and people. […]
Humor
Seligman releases ‘The Joel Seligman LP’ to critical acclaim
On Tuesday, UR President Joel Seligman released his new album, “The Joel Seligman LP,” under the moniker Joel. The first song to leak was titled J.O.L.O. (Joel Only Lives Once.) The album chronicles Seligman’s rise and fall from grace. Controversial UR Economics professor Steven Landsburg is co-producing the LP with Dr. Dre. When pressed for […]
Humor
Campus Times party shut down
This Saturday, Nov. 2, the Campus Times orchestrated an Halloween rager in Wilson Commons after hours. “It was really just a great opportunity to let loose after the stress of midterms,” Features Editor Doug Brady, who was dressed as the gingerbread man for the festivities, said. Brady was entrusted with gathering $17.50 from every attendee […]
Humor
50 Shades of Joel
On Friday, Nov. 1, University President Joel Seligman debuted his collection erotic poetry at Starbucks Friday Night Live open-mic event. The title of his collection, 50 Shades of Joel, is a reference to the 50 separate romantic personalities that corresponds with each one of his poems. Even though Starbucks changed their open-mic policy to allow […]
Humor
Rettner playground lets us relive our childhoods
Forget the Confederate flag debate, smoking up next to Susan B.’s grave, or hiding alcohol from your RA — it’s time to play. With the UR’s newest playground, hard-partying students are bound to change their ways in exchange for old-fashioned, childhood fun. How often do you stare out of your dorm room window when it’s […]
