Humor

About ten scary movies to watch in the dark

Scary movies have driven Halloween since the first moving picture was created by a guy carving a bunch of tiny shapes into a turnip and spinning it around really fast. Read More

Wake up sheeple!

Decked from head to toe in sheepskin vests, fluffy boots, and sheep-adorned masks, you’ll never guess what twist this group of FOX News viewers pulled on the “ridiculous CDC regulations.” Read More

Soylent-Quarantine for Halloween

Our scientists and witchcraft students have invented a new kind of food that not only can feed our students, but has all the saccharine empty calories of Halloween candy. Read More

A nightmare on fraternity road: sexy Swarm Monitor

Imagine if we didn’t have SWARM monitors at parties, who would tell you to get off the steps? Read More

Tony Hawk (maybe) gets bigger

Mr. Hawk has allegedly made a resurgence, and is quite possibly bigger than he’s ever been. Read More

Dr. Chatbot is coming for us all

Beyond mining your data from its daily screenings, there’s a darker secret to the program’s schtick. Dr. Chatbot is going to take over the world. Read More

Stock photo models afraid of becoming memes

“I’m just taking this class for an easy A, I’m not looking to become a meme,” junior Jen Erica Photo said. Read More

The underground professorhood: A groundboi night school

In the early hours of the morning with the cover of darkness and the moon high in the sky, a community of animals met at the stoop of a groundhog hole on the hill beside Jackson Court. Read More

Manglesdorf launches campaign to end October

From the Humor Section: More major calendar-focused upheaval, such as changing November to Hendecavember and December to Dodecember will not be addressed during this survey period. Read More

Groundbreaking groundhog goes blonde

Blondeboi has been reviewed by Monroe County Animal Control, and ruled legally blonde. Read More