Humor

The real reason students returned to campus: The results will shock you

87% of on-campus respondents cite access to school WiFi, and with it, freedom from Duo authentication, as the most exciting part of on-campus life. Read More

Email from a distraught, unvaccinated donor

Nobody told me there was a cutoff for illegal benefits, and it would have been nice to know considering my most recent donation of $150 and two black market kidneys seems to total only $5 net value under the apparent “official” vaccine “price.” Read More

Dr. Chatbot’s namesake: Jeremiah A. Chatbot III

When Jeremiah A. Chatbot III was just a young boy growing up in Brooklyn, his parents motivated him to do great things in life. Read More

The human beauty of the internet

The world wide web is perhaps the most complete repository of human strangeness to ever exist. Read More

Study buddy cat-tastrophe

If you want to use this as a reference for studying with your own pets, go ahead, but keep in mind that your experience may be very different from mine. Read More

Disobey the no-guest policy as an act of civil disobedience

I encourage the rest of campus to follow suit in my noble endeavor to stop the unjust laws governing our campus and really stick it to the man with me. Read More

CT Eats: Douggie

I found some real delicacies there, and I’m honestly impressed... that I’ve been eating the same three things without ending up comatose. Read More

Buy CT cups!

From the Humor Section: Its flimsy build also makes it easy to fold to get to those hard-to-reach areas, making it great for watering plants and performing your routine enema. Read More

Love, loss, and listings on UR Student

If you are one of the many people having issues with scheduling, here is a list of tips and tricks for you to try. Read More

Campus by torchlight

Sophomore Chadwick Barnes had just the idea: He and his boys, out on the quad, pounding brewskis and tossing dice. Read More