Humor
Biomedical Engineering
A closer look at the freshman BME major
The Hajim class operates primarily within the engineering quad and under piles of depression laundry in each organism’s respective dorm habitat. Read More
Administration
A day in the life of University middle management
If you consult the delegation guidebook, you’ll see that crises on River Campus are delegated to the Dean of the Faculty of Arts, Sciences, and Engineering. Read More
Pumpkins
What to do with your pumpkins after Halloween
Do you think Wegmans is too bumpy? Throw a pumpkin at it. Mad that Genesee is so nice? Pumpkin. Wish Optikale were open? Goergen gets a pumpkin, too. Read More
bathrooms
A list of bathrooms
For those of us who suffer from IBS and UTS (Upset Tummy Syndrome), knowing where the best, cleanest, and most private bathrooms are is always a necessity. Read More
election
A President who will cut the malarkey!
The Biden transition team has put forward a platform, “We pledge in our first 100 days to abolish the scourge of malarkey in all of its forms.” Read More
election
Letter to the Editor: Tinder isn’t working for me
Maybe “I’ll make you feel like Donald Trump makes America feel” isn’t a great opening line. Read More
#Fuck spiders
Southside spiders seriously spook Stella
Imagine my displeasure upon finding a gargantuan, lustrous-rumped, gangly-legged, octo-eyed, bitch-ass orb weaver staring at me from its tiny nest of butt string. Read More
#Scary movies
About ten scary movies to watch in the dark
Scary movies have driven Halloween since the first moving picture was created by a guy carving a bunch of tiny shapes into a turnip and spinning it around really fast. Read More
#Sheeple
Wake up sheeple!
Decked from head to toe in sheepskin vests, fluffy boots, and sheep-adorned masks, you’ll never guess what twist this group of FOX News viewers pulled on the “ridiculous CDC regulations.” Read More
#Part of a complete breakfast
Soylent-Quarantine for Halloween
Our scientists and witchcraft students have invented a new kind of food that not only can feed our students, but has all the saccharine empty calories of Halloween candy. Read More
