Looking for the perfect Holiday gift? Something cheap but classy, personal but generic, red but green? Look no further: The Campus Times Cup has everything!

Made from a flexible, semi-durable plastic, the CT Cup can handle it all. Its condensation-resistant material keeps things both cool and dry. It’s got the perfect width for both dainty lady hands and big, rough, lumberjack man hands. And it even holds the perfect amount of drink with a material that has a fantastic mouth-feel! Featuring a beautiful, difficult-to-read font and image design, with an astoundingly mediocre build, it has been rated “an all-around okay cup” by tens of customers.


Pick up several and surprise your mom by leaving them half-full around the house all week! (I have 18 ready to go myself). You may also find it useful for catching the poopoo water leaking from your Southside ceiling. Its flimsy build also makes it easy to fold to get to those hard-to-reach areas, making it great for watering plants and performing your routine enema.


The CT Cup has many uses, including, but not limited to:

  • Salsa-holder (due to its perfect chip width) (see fig. A)
  • Critter catcher (fig. B)
  • Hats for your roommate’s five cats (fig. C)
  • Gravy boat, and to collect the tears shed over the politics at your Thanksgiving dinner table-Inserted into Turkey Bum for extra plastic flavor — mmmm


Figure A

Figure B


Figure C

Stop by the CT office before you head home and pick up your CT Cups! (Please, we beg you, we have far too many. We don’t want them and we are worried they may soon become sentient.


Graduate Student Collective voices financial grievances in town hall

On Tuesday Feb. 21, over 50 graduate students from across the University filled the Humanities Center for a town hall…

The only reliable thing about the shuttle system is its ability to drive me crazy

The bus schedule is many things, so I’ll tell you what it isn’t. Reliable. On-time. Consistent.


Perhaps it is love that equips us with an unknown strength and resilience, guiding the path to fighting away our greatest fears.