Humor
Humor
Trying to remember the New Year
Happy New Year! Glasses clink; everyone consumes a form of sparkling liquid. The anticipation is over, leaving only a discussion of resolutions to fill the void left by the most anticlimactic of holidays. “I need to be more fun. I will buy an exotic, untamable animal.” “No more drunk food…well, after tonight.” “I might go […]
Humor
Me, the manatee: Bulking up to beat the cold this winter
I am going to give in to biology and get fat. I am going to learn from the bear, the hippo and the manatee and get fat in order to stay warm this winter. To prepare for swimming in cold waters, the manatee gains weight in order to increase the thickness of its blubber. There's […]
Humor
Beyoncé sworn in as 45th president
In a historically unprecedented act, Chief Justice John Roberts administered the oath of office to beloved singer and alleged cult leader, Beyoncé Knowles this past Monday, Jan. 21. “I stand by my actions,” Roberts said. “It just seemed like the right thing to do.” Knowles, best known for her powerful singing voice, excessive use of […]