Humor

Successive snowfall inspires unusual play

Because of Rochester’s reputation for excessive snow, UR students have a fear of Mother Nature instilled in them. Gearing up in layers of hats, scarves, mittens, and boots gets old really fast, so making the best of the snow and cold is the only way to survive the long winter months.  Even though most of […]

Seduction hoax unveils slew of new Internet lies

The controversy of Manti Te’o’s online girlfriend hoax has set in motion the reveal of numerous other Internet dupings, sources confirmed earlier this week. One UR student was subject to a similar internet hoax. When sophomore Kyle Noube received a chat greeting from a single blonde in a pop-up browser, he couldn’t believe his luck. […]

Trying to remember the New Year

Happy New Year! Glasses clink; everyone consumes a form of sparkling liquid. The anticipation is over, leaving only a discussion of resolutions to fill the void left by the most anticlimactic of holidays. “I need to be more fun. I will buy an exotic, untamable animal.” “No more drunk food…well, after tonight.” “I might go […]

Me, the manatee: Bulking up to beat the cold this winter

I am going to give in to biology and get fat. I am going to learn from the bear, the hippo and the manatee and get fat in order to stay warm this winter.  To prepare for swimming in cold waters, the manatee gains weight in order to increase the thickness of its blubber.  There's […]

Beyoncé sworn in as 45th president

In a historically unprecedented act, Chief Justice John Roberts administered the oath of office to beloved singer and alleged cult leader, Beyoncé Knowles this past Monday, Jan. 21. “I stand by my actions,” Roberts said. “It just seemed like the right thing to do.” Knowles, best known for her powerful singing voice, excessive use of […]