Since the announcement in March 2011 that the Margaret Warner Graduate School of Education and Human Development would relocate from its long-occupied space in Dewey Hall to Raymond F. LeChase Hall, which opened its doors on Jan. 16, many in the University community have expressed excitement at the prospect of the new building.
After Dean of the Warner School Raffaella Borasi told the Warner School about the move on Jan. 14, however, the nationally-ranked institution locked itself in its room and refused to come out until Borasi promised it could remain on the Eastman Quadrangle, according to a report from Department of Physics and Astronomy Chair Nicholas Bigelow, who works next to Dewey in Bausch and Lomb Hall — a mindset that persists even now, over a month later.
The Warner School recently admitted that the real reason it was so upset stems from the fact that it has a girlfriend — the Rare Books and Special Collections Library who, the Warner School says, is “like, totally a 10, man.”
The pair met through a mutual friend, the College Center for Advising Services, right before the move and has been “kind of going out, but like, we don’t want to put a label on it,” according to the Warner School.
“We’re in love,” the institution said. “We really are. I gave up my lecture series and everything.”
The Warner School’s negative outlook has not improved in the weeks since the relocation.
“It’s wicked unfair,” the institution said. “I don’t know why everyone is always trying to ruin my life.”
Rare Books and Special Collections spent the entirety of Jan. 15 with the Warner School, making out with it and staring longingly into its eyes.But the library does not appear to be in the relationship for the long haul.
“I’ll probably break up with the Warner School soon,” the library said. “I’m just waiting for all of this to die down. Besides, I’ve had my eye on the Department of Anthropology for a while now. What a hottie!”
The Warner School’s negative reaction to the move was, it seems, anticipated by neighbors.
“As soon as I heard about the decision, I knew it would be hard on the Warner School,” Bigelow said. “I know it has struggled to find love in the past, so it’s no shock to me that it doesn’t want to let this relationship go.”
The Warner School’s reaction did not come as a surprise to Borasi either. She tried to shield W.S. from the news for as long as possible, she explained, but knew that the school had to find out eventually.
Borasi was quick to note that she had considered telling the Warner School on a number of occasions, but “the time just never really seemed right.”
Although she is confident that moving the institution was the right decision, Borasi did express sympathy for the Warner School.
“We are honored to have a new space that represents our recent growth, both in quality and numbers, but sometimes I feel so guilty — what if Rare Books and Special Collections is the Warner School’s soul mate? Do I really want to risk taking that away from it?” Borasi asked.
Many members of the UR community have tried to make the Warner School feel better about the move. University President Joel Seligman had a long heart-to-heart with the institution, and Dean of Students Matthew Burns attempted to “take the school’s mind off things” with a stream of gifts, which included five new professors, an increased ranking in U.S. News and World Report, and $3 million to spend on new, state-of-the-art equipment.
University Vice President Paul Burgett, however, reportedly told the Warner School to “suck it up, and take it like a man.”
The Warner School brushed off these efforts and noted that “none of it really makes a difference anyway.”
As of press time, the Warner School had been seen hooking up with Starbucks at a party in Wilson Commons.
Goldin is a member of the class of 2013.

Israeli-Palestinian conflict reporting disclosures

The Campus Times is a club student newspaper with a small reporting staff at a small, private University. We are…

UR Baseball beats Hamilton and RIT

Yellowjackets baseball beat Hamilton College on Tuesday and RIT on Friday to the scores of 11–4 and 7–4, respectively.

UR Womens’ Lacrosse trounces Nazareth 17-5

UR’s Womens’ Lacrosse team beat Nazareth University 17–5 on Tuesday at Fauver Stadium.