UR Joking

Dating the voices in my head

Chat, did I make a mistake? I went on a date with the voices in my head and I liked it. It was a bit of an unplanned date, but what else are you supposed to do when none of your friends will have dinner with you? Read More

More than a good boy

There were a bunch of labs that smelled of the strange chemicals. There were squirrel mechs being built. There were thousands of squirrels, big and small, scurrying everywhere. Read More

Eulogy for Brian Ly

spending his time “flirting with hiring managers,” and urging those like him to “mog the huzz with your chopped aura.” Read More

Cold never bothered them anyway

watching those who have completed the course have small molecules of lava chemically bonded to each individual cell Read More

The great mosquito migration

The first mosquito explorer has officially discovered a new island habitable to all mosquitolings. This day marks a big occasion for all mosquito-kind, as this island means paradise. Read More

Candy stolen from babies at Strong Memorial Hospital

Currently, officials suspect that the robbers took the candy using a stolen utility ladder and glass-breaking power tools to enter through the back window. Read More

Mysterious moaning in Sue B. turns out not to be ghost

the only “paranormal” activity they found was a half empty bottle of wine, a couple ruffled sheets, and two nervous students insisting that they were just “rearranging furniture.” Read More

Email blast from the distant past

I am becoming frailer and frailer day by day (I have had a cold since Thursday and I'm being a big baby about it). Read More

Dos and don’ts of befriending your neighborhood performative male

To make sure the man you have identified is indeed a performative male, make sure to look for the three Ls: Look-at-me energy, Lattes, and Loafers.  Read More

‘Twas a long night in Gleason

’Twas a long night in Gleason, when all through the room / Not a person was stirring, a silence of gloom. Read More