UR Joking

The great mosquito migration

The first mosquito explorer has officially discovered a new island habitable to all mosquitolings. This day marks a big occasion for all mosquito-kind, as this island means paradise. Read More

Candy stolen from babies at Strong Memorial Hospital

Currently, officials suspect that the robbers took the candy using a stolen utility ladder and glass-breaking power tools to enter through the back window. Read More

Mysterious moaning in Sue B. turns out not to be ghost

the only “paranormal” activity they found was a half empty bottle of wine, a couple ruffled sheets, and two nervous students insisting that they were just “rearranging furniture.” Read More

Email blast from the distant past

I am becoming frailer and frailer day by day (I have had a cold since Thursday and I'm being a big baby about it). Read More

Dos and don’ts of befriending your neighborhood performative male

To make sure the man you have identified is indeed a performative male, make sure to look for the three Ls: Look-at-me energy, Lattes, and Loafers.  Read More

‘Twas a long night in Gleason

’Twas a long night in Gleason, when all through the room / Not a person was stirring, a silence of gloom. Read More

The birth, life, and death of a Campus Times editor

Their voice begins to get higher and higher when, finally, they explode into rays of light and a Campus Times Editor is born. Read More

Meliora Weekend gets ever worse

At this point, I realized that it was pointless to run. The only way for this disaster to end was to sacrifice myself. Read More

Food package party: “big-backing”

It’s all just a marketing scheme to steal money from us poor consumers and give them to Big Chip. Read More

University divests from prison labor, cites excessive costs

Saving money is no easy task for the newly self-operational UR Dining Services — especially when trying to fill the non-slip shoes of a company famous for its lax policies regarding labor, health, and safety.  Read More