UR Joking
birth
Eulogy for Brian Ly
spending his time “flirting with hiring managers,” and urging those like him to “mog the huzz with your chopped aura.” Read More
15 degree weather
Cold never bothered them anyway
watching those who have completed the course have small molecules of lava chemically bonded to each individual cell Read More
migration
The great mosquito migration
The first mosquito explorer has officially discovered a new island habitable to all mosquitolings. This day marks a big occasion for all mosquito-kind, as this island means paradise. Read More
babies
Candy stolen from babies at Strong Memorial Hospital
Currently, officials suspect that the robbers took the candy using a stolen utility ladder and glass-breaking power tools to enter through the back window. Read More
moving furniture
Mysterious moaning in Sue B. turns out not to be ghost
the only “paranormal” activity they found was a half empty bottle of wine, a couple ruffled sheets, and two nervous students insisting that they were just “rearranging furniture.” Read More
Campus Times copy
Email blast from the distant past
I am becoming frailer and frailer day by day (I have had a cold since Thursday and I'm being a big baby about it). Read More
books
Dos and don’ts of befriending your neighborhood performative male
To make sure the man you have identified is indeed a performative male, make sure to look for the three Ls: Look-at-me energy, Lattes, and Loafers. Read More
Christmas
‘Twas a long night in Gleason
’Twas a long night in Gleason, when all through the room / Not a person was stirring, a silence of gloom. Read More
Alumni
The birth, life, and death of a Campus Times editor
Their voice begins to get higher and higher when, finally, they explode into rays of light and a Campus Times Editor is born. Read More
meliora
Meliora Weekend gets ever worse
At this point, I realized that it was pointless to run. The only way for this disaster to end was to sacrifice myself. Read More
