Satire
ct multimedia expansion
CT presents: “The Slacker”
It takes a lot to be lame on the Internet, but man, these guys sure are trying. All roses will be awarded via emoticon. Read More
it's not you it's Wii
Campus Times makes terrible mistake, allows asexual man to write Valentine’s Day article*
Now, with the versatile new Nintendo Switch™ console, I can finally experience true emotional intimacy. And you can, too, for just $299.99! Read More
capitalism
Help, my roommate took ECON 108!
I was willing to overlook the basic annoyances, such as his grumbling “there’s no such thing as a free lunch” when we’d pass food being given out. Read More
down bad
“Stay slaying, sexies”
Having any fun? You want to? I may be busy ruling over the school with a limp wrist and iron fist, but I’ll always have time for you. Read More
eggplant parmesan
Goncharov, your new favorite Thanksgiving tradition
Imagine if Die Hard had a guy braining another guy with an ice pick and then tossing him into a fish pond. That is the magic of Martin Scorsese’s “Goncharov.” Read More
dirt
Tunneling club reaches new tunnels
Tunnels come in many shapes and sizes, primarily tunnel-like and fuckery-like. Read More
prices
Want some stew? Your first born’ll do!
Each and every attendee is no doubt thrilled about paying more for the Exact Same Thing! Read More
humor
UR Approved for Tuition Increase
“If I’m lucky, I’ll be paying $100k in tuition by the time I graduate!” Read More
Dining
UR offers so many amazing dining options
Crunchy on the outside, squishy and wet on the inside! Trust me on this one. The chicken is so good, you’ll be digesting it for days! Read More
recipe ideas
Fun, easy recipes to burn down your communal kitchen
I’ve compiled a list of the five best recipes for you to make in your communal kitchen. Brew mead, or something. Avoid scurvy! Read More
