Humor
Popcorn
How the Boy Scouts failed nine year old me
You may or may not know this, but the Cub Scouts have their own version of Girl Scout cookies. For the non-suburbanites, they call it Boy Scout popcorn. Read More
UR Joking
Mystery upstairs: What’s that noise?
I swear I’m returning to a primitive amoeba-like state now that all my classes are virtual. We’re only three weeks in and already I’m going crazy. Read More
Satire
Dr. Chatbot sued, loses medical license
In early February, Dr. Chatbot was arrested and indicted on over 10,000 counts of malpractice. Due to the doctor’s uncanny ability to change their appearance seemingly at will, and therefore their ability to slip past monitoring systems, they were deemed a flight risk and detained in cells across the web. Read More
UR Joking
10 kinds of tinder users, ranked by rarity
With Valentine’s Day passing by, Tinder usage has increased astronomically. People start swiping right like a trigger-happy protagonist in a Tarantino movie. Read More
Valentine's Day
Will U(zi) be my valentine?
The man, who insisted on being called Rocky, was found outside of Strong in the middle of the night on Feb. 13 with multiple gashes and a small diamond and metal backing lodged in his forehead. Read More
Valentine's Day
How to reclaim valentine’s day
You’re probably sitting in your dorm playing solitaire, eating Kraft singles, singing the latest hit singles. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean that you can’t love the day of love, so here are 10 tips to enjoy Valentine’s day solo. Read More
Valentine's Day
Valentine’s surprise; Stacks to be open 24 hours
To this point they’ve made one thing clear: Donations from couples who met on campus are too precious to lose to COVID-19. Read More
UR Joking
COVID-19 clocktower, a conspiracy we can all believe in
As an avid proponent of both intensive research and half of the conspiracy theories I just googled, I’ve decided to present UR with a new hypothesis: Walking under the clocktower will grant you the gift of COVID-19 antibodies. Read More
Narratives
Lake Ontario: shockingly bereft of crabs
So I went up to the lake, and ventured out onto the ice. A disclaimer: I know nothing about ice fishing. Read More
UR Joking
Top 10 quarantine phases, ranked
However, one incredibly prominent experience is reverting back to phases that we all experienced in the most formative years of our lives, such as in middle school. Thus, here, for your viewing pleasure, are 10 of the mid-quarantine phases, ranked and psychoanalyzed by yours truly. Read More
