After a Valentine’s Day proposal gone horribly wrong, a Rochester man was hospitalized and required surgery at Strong Memorial Hospital.
The man, who insisted on being called Rocky, was found outside of Strong in the middle of the night on Feb. 13 with multiple gashes and a small diamond and metal backing lodged in his forehead. When questioned by hospital staff, Rocky refused to speak on the matter. However, after some deliberation, he spoke to one of our correspondents here at the Campus Times about the moments leading up to his ill-timed medical emergency, and how the inception of this injury had an unexpected inspiration: Lil Uzi Vert.
Vert (real name Symere Bysil Woods), an alleged rapper, recently added to his arsenal of fashion faux pas-turned-trendsetting choices this February with a 10-carat pink diamond implanted in his forehead.
According to Rocky, he had initially messaged Vert inquiring about utilizing the services of his forehead gem for an unexpected purpose: a proposal. With Governor Cuomo’s blessing (the suggestion of marriage proposals on Valentine’s Day followed by relaxed-guideline receptions in mid-March), there was an apparent time crunch. Thus, when Vert failed to engage with him as a potential engagement ring over Instagram DM within a matter of hours, Rocky took it upon himself to find a gem of his own.
Dr. Chatbot, one of the surgeons involved in removing the diamond, noted that the gemstone and its metal holder were small enough to potentially come from an engagement ring. When questioned, Rocky corroborated this notion, explaining that he chose to repurpose a family heirloom for the job. Vert and his management did not respond to requests for a statement. After two hours of surgery, the ring pieces were successfully and safely removed. Rocky has been discharged in order to recuperate from his romantic endeavors in the safety and comfort of his own home.