This past week, there were so many complaints filed by lonely students unable to find love in a pandemic that the COVID-19 concern form crashed for 48 hours. Well, the University has heard the student complaints and is willing to make accommodations for Valentine’s Day. 

No, they won’t be modifying the current long-term policies that allow you to eat with four friends, masks off, but deny you even one masked study buddy. Also, you still have to sneak your significant other in the back door. 

But it has been announced that tonight — and tonight February 14–15, 2021 only — the upper level Stacks will remain open overnight. While they clearly expressed that students are expected to spend that time studying socially distanced with their dates in silence — and, of course, with masks AND pants on — the students seem to have gotten a different message.

Junior Rachel Hedman feels the administration is throwing students a bone with this new temporary policy. In an interview with the Campus Times, she said, “I feel like they know what they’re doing here. I mean, thank God because we all really could use a romantic night in the Stacks, but why even pretend this is for studying? Can’t wait for UR confessions on Monday the 15th.” 

A student poll showed 74% of the student body thinks the administrators follow the UR Confessions page on Instagram, and agree with Hedman that they know exactly what they’re doing. 

In the same poll, 94% of students say they believe Valentine’s Day was invented by chocolate and teddy bear companies. Additionally, a random sampling of students camping outside of CVS revealed their Valentine’s plans: to buy cheap candy after midnight and spend the wee hours of the morning on Twitter. 

“Valentine’s Day will feel like the most normal day of the year with the Stacks open if you ask me,” senior Max Schnieder said. “I’ve spent a couple of late nights in the Stacks myself, and it’s not always ghosts making that creepy blue elevator creak.”  

Stay posted for more on this developing story, and more on how the administration is trying to accommodate students in this weird year. To this point they’ve made one thing clear: Donations from couples who met on campus are too precious to lose to COVID-19.

Tagged: Valentine's Day

Geophysicists debut model of donut-shaped Earth

Improvements to geophysical mathematics has led to a stunning new revelation: Our Earth is actually a torus. The Global Geophysicists…

SageFest’s Total Preclipse

April 5 marked the 14th annual SageFest, an event organized by the Sage Art Center, UR’s studio arts building, and…

Live action remakes: If it ain’t broke, do it again but worse

For the most part, these movies are just rehashes — visually bland and feebly attempting to offset their lack of originality with celebrity cameos and nostalgia bait.