Humor
first-years
Breaking news: First-years still have a will to live
They are so full of hope it makes any upperclassman sick with the realization that they, too, were once full of bliss and a will to live. Read More
COVID-19
COVID-19 variants to form new fraternity
COVID Delta Lambda hopes to change the college experience for anyone attempting to get an education in the next decade (or eternity). Read More
UR Joking
A list of COVID-19-friendly pop-up requests
Although a healthy amount of UR students can subsist off of the sole resource known as “daddy’s money,” not everyone is that lucky. Read More
UR Joking
Email from admin: Students must get positive COVID-19 test for the fall
In order to accommodate these students, we have decided to lock you all into Strong Auditorium and pump infected air through the vents. Read More
Satire
The SA president we needed: An exclusive interview with Megan Browne
Megan, while initially an unlikely candidate as an avid SA-unenthusiast, rose to take on the challenge of snagging the presidency on a whim. Read More
Satire
Wellness Wednesday advice: If going to be sad? Don’t!
Recently, one of our dedicated researchers came across a stash of emails, buried deep within the University’s drafts. Clearly, someone had been trying to dispose of the evidence. Read More
UR Joking
Sober (and depressing) D-Day alternatives to drinking
With this year’s Dandelion Day (D-Day) now over, some students may feel they didn’t get the most out of it. Many did, of course, get plastered in accordance with the time-honored Rochester tradition. Read More
D-Day
D-Day balloons hijacked by pirate ghost
According to historical records found in a deep, nearly forgotten corner of Rush Rhees Library, Captain Sykes was ridiculed by his piratical peers for choosing to ply fresh waters. Read More
UR Joking
‘Dumb Ways To Die’: Rochester edition
When you’d do anything to finish the semester immediately, that suspiciously undercooked chicken from the Pit doesn’t start to look half bad. Read More
UR Joking
Pro-global warming campus club launched in response to cold spring
Stuple is hoping these efforts will be enough to “scare the mean cold weather away” so he can “finally start working on his summer tan.” Read More
