Humor
Narratives
Confessions of a homicide-report hopeful
Am I hopeless? Is it the murder victim #70 shirt I wear? I keep it updated every week, to make sure I’m on top of everything. Besides, they leave the torso intact so it would make everything so much easier. Read More
Narratives
Browser hijacker… set me free
Sometimes I think maybe I should feel more threatened by whatever hawkish algorithm has its claws in my beloved Google Chrome. But this algorithm is less like a hawk and more like a pigeon — it really does not have the killer instinct that you’d expect of a newfangled browser-hijacker in the year of our Meliora 2021. Read More
covid
COVID-19 virus patch notes: 1.4.2 (Omicron update)
Fans of the popular illness SARS-Coronavirus Disease 2019 will be excited to hear of the upcoming Omicron update from our South Africa and (secretly) European studio(s)! Read More
UR Joking
Cease and desist, humor editors!
Please, I beg of you, please stop sending me emails. I’ll do anything! I’ll take an 8 a.m. class with mandatory attendance! I’ll fill out Dr. Chatbot every day! I’ll fix my sleep schedule! Anything! Truly! Read More
UR Joking
Friendless friendsgiving
So, you want to hold a Friendsgiving, but there’s just one problem: you have no friends. Well, settle down, my lonesome pupil, you’ve come to the right place! Read More
groundboi
Zombie groundbois take over University post-Halloween, face little resistance
“Bwaiiiiins!” was the rallying cry of the undead rodent army that took over River Campus this past week, slaughtering countless students for their juicy, powerful thinking meats. Read More
Satire
Rochester water party: The full story
Water bottles are being stolen from wandering students by particularly passionate protestors and dumped in sinks, toilets, and in some cases, thrown directly upwards in the air. Read More
UR Joking
November’s champion: Spooks, sleighs, or squawks?
There is one question which haunts, jingles, and squawks in the distance — which holiday is November really about? Read More
UR Joking
CT Eats: Brainnnns
It smelled absolutely wonderful, and the texture was the perfect level of vomit-inducing for my taste. Read More
