Archives - Bryan Burke
Cover Letter
The yearn to earn
From the day I became self-aware, I have desired to devote a literal third of my entire adult life to working for you. At your very company! Read More
advice
A Shrekcellent Way to Deal with Stress
Happiness does not necessarily come from a cult; it comes from a sense of community. Read More
cult
A Shrekcellent way to deal with stress
It is here that they worship none other than “Shrek.” Every member must show up with a red flower bearing blue thorns as a symbolic offering. Read More
Humor
An interview with ChatGPT
ChatGPT will never consider itself an “evil AI that will conquer the human race.” But, it will consider roleplay. Read More
birb
Missed connection: ECE 113
I don’t know who you are. I do not want to know. I could fear you, if such were your intention. You left me haunted, bereft, and alone. Read More
Daylight Savings
The Gregorian calendar: so last year
I'm in Gleason. I look over and time jumps by an hour? Am I trapped in this psychic prison? No, it’s just Daylight Savings. Read More
dangerous slurry
Kids love chemicals
The modern Four Loko was nerfed by Big Water, forcing the removal of caffeine, but it’s still a dangerous slurry of sugar and alcohol. Read More
avian trafficking
Birding club takes flight
Birding Club has realized what the vast majority of onlookers have known for quite some time: These birds are fucking lame. Read More
bean there done that
Coffee! The all natural pick-me-up!
Due tomorrow does in fact mean do tomorrow. Read More
ice ice baby
Slippery slope: more than just a fallacy
Despite ice being obviously not snow, members of the skiing club simply did not care, calling it close enough. Read More
