Archives - Bryan Burke

CCC: see a c-list app sinking in a sea of mediocrity 

There’s a dearth of passion projects: I haven’t downloaded an app out of interest or joy in over five years.

A comprehensive guide to common sense nap control

NEVER NAP WITH YOUR BODY POINTED NORTH SOUTH. The lay lines could wash over you and cause your subconscious to capsize. 

The Demonic Nature of Innovative Technology

Elkay EZO8WSSK EZH2O Bottle Filling Station with Single ADA Cooler Hands Free Activation Refrigerated Stainless, Stainless Steel

The maze formally known as Gilbert Hall

It’s okay to turn a blind eye to abusing the laws of the natural world. All this reporter can do is turn around and walk out of Gilbert. 

The Joker Speaks: This guy thinks he’s funny?

They made new neighborhood watches to “keep an eye” on me and I’m now “on a List,” but what else is an honest guy to do for a good day’s work?

You should extort the housing lottery!

I’m not saying seniors should extort students and profit hundreds of dollars. I’m saying that generosity could be killing monetary benefits. 

The yearn to earn 

From the day I became self-aware, I have desired to devote a literal third of my entire adult life to working for you. At your very company! 

A Shrekcellent Way to Deal with Stress

Happiness does not necessarily come from a cult; it comes from a sense of community.

A Shrekcellent way to deal with stress

It is here that they worship none other than “Shrek.” Every member must show up with a red flower bearing blue thorns as a symbolic offering.

An interview with ChatGPT

ChatGPT will never consider itself an “evil AI that will conquer the human race.” But, it will consider roleplay.