I was wearing a flannel and cargo pants. I hope you were clothed?? 

I was taking notes, listening to the lull of the shittily constructed desks creaking under the weight of 10:25 a.m. academia. I like to consider myself as a whimsical lad, which can be quite easily seen by the name of my phone on AirDrop: ‘iPhone 9.’ (My iPad also has a goofy number associated with it.) But my laptop has been the victim of a critical blunder. I made the mistake of not renaming it. To that very device, I was AirDropped a singular .png file, drawn on GoodNotes with colors galore. “When the desk squeaks sound like BIRDS. Squeak squeak.” My world moved.

I don’t know who you are. I do not want to know. I think I could fear you, if such were your intention. You singled me out and left me haunted, bereft, and alone. Could I buy you a drink? Can we talk about stuff? Preferably birds and/or desks?

Smartest Simon Business School student

Professors offer extra credit to students willing to do their dirty work.

Town hall refreshes debate over faith-based projects

In light of the Stop the Build protests, Runner confirmed that construction of the faith-based projects will continue as planned.

Jungle your juice

In case you have yet to juice your jungle, I am here to rock your world (respectfully). You’ve got the funny juice. You love the funny juice!