UR Joking

For whom the bell tolls

Rush Rhees Tower is the cultural and geographic center of the UR campus. But it is also the source of a great mystery. One I hope to uncover. Read More

Marathon man

He died in service of his nation and has been flexed on about it for two millennia — and they aren’t even doing it right! Read More

Updates on our Rabbit Overlord

When he finally approached Daisy’s kingdom, he proceeded to urinate upon the ground just outside the gates of her vast estates. Read More

Extremely funny and relatable humor article

This was The Funniest Article. Ever. and I was just so impressed by my own writing that I couldn’t help but to share it with everyone. Read More

Washing machine woes: Tide Pods

There have been numerous reports of hardened and shriveled blue gel-plastic on clothes of all shapes and sizes, an ominous sign of a Tide Pod gone horribly wrong. Read More

A timely love letter to February

Although you happen to be the shortest month of the year, it feels like forever since you first arrived. Before we return to the monotony of 30 or 31-day months again, I just wanted to write this just to thank you for your visit and reminisce about some wonderful memories. Read More

How to celebrate the Super Bowl like a pro

The Super Bowl was actually a 24-hour-long celebration of foods served in humanity’s greatest invention known as the bowl. Read More

Baby presses charges against mother for being born

the birth was so unsatisfactory that the plaintiff received auditory and visual trauma from the disgust and harassment from the doctors, as well as sustained neglect from the mother subsequent to their birth.  Read More

A letter to my guitar

Ever since I bought you with my hard-earned money, you’ve brought me nothing but joy. Unlike couples who argue and fight, I can always enjoy your company. Read More

The downfall of the plateocracy

Now, forks are able to be reunited with families. Plates are able to go home after decades in the kitchen. Spoons are able to live life on the dry-side, no longer submerged in sloppily executed imitations of soups and sauces.  Read More