Welcome to my first installation of “Good Advice Brian,” also known as GAB, because I love to “GAB” a “GOOB GIME!”
See, the thing about gibbing goob GAB-vice (okay I’ll stop now) is that everyone has different ideas of what “good advice” is. Personally, my definition of good advice is advice that benefits the greatest number of people. Utilitarianism at its finest!
In this case, some examples of good advice would be to store ketchup and other condiments upside down so that they become easier to dispense. Use hydrogen peroxide to get pesky blood stains out of clothes, furniture, and tarps. Another piece of good advice would be to run a container’s lid under hot water for 30 seconds if you cannot easily open it. It will help you get a better grip and open it more easily!
I feel like something slipped its way into the previous paragraph, but anyway, isn’t that great advice? Now that you know my standard for good advice, aren’t you interested in reading more?
Well, that’s too bad – I’m actually just going to gatekeep all of this information. You won’t get a peep out of me. Good luck leading a healthy, non-murderous life!
