Humor
Humor
Poking fun at the news
1. A Pennsylvanian man is in trouble for painting his town’s Main Street. All he wanted to do was brush it up a little. 2. A woman was arrested for illegal entry after being found in her ex’s chimney. She is claiming that she was in the wrong fireplace at the wrong time. 3. A […]
Humor
Freshmen claim Hillside is too far away…from Sue B
Recently, a number of freshmen living in Susan B. Anthony Hall have been upset over how far the residence halls within the building from the Hillside POD. A record number of students (four) attended a recent Hall Council meeting (Editor’s Note: we checked, and these meetings apparently do actually exist. Quorum, it turns out is […]
Humor
A eulogy for my GPA
Friends, Yellowjackets, classmates, lend me your ear! I come to bury my GPA, not get it back to a reasonable level. The procrastination that men do lives after them; The motivation is oft left somewhere else. So let it be with my GPA. The noble Seligman Has told you my GPA was salvageable: If it […]
Humor
Renaming Meliora Weekend
Following the ribbon cutting at College Town, President Seligman made an important announcement which few people heard due to the roar of students picketing Barnes and Noble because of its distance from campus. As people rushed into the bookstore Friday for its grand opening, even though it had been open the whole week, Seligman made […]
Humor
Girl has existential crisis at first floor vending machine
This past Thursday, Allison Smith made her usual weekly trip to the laundry room. As she began to head back to her dorm room, she passed two vending machines, conveniently placed adjacent to the laundry room. She paused, looked around for a brief moment, and decided to get something. She initially wanted Grandma’s Cookies, which […]
Humor
Girl goes to the library, gets nothing done
A freshman girl had been studying for a few hours in her room when she decided that she needed some fresh air and human interaction. She decided to go to Gleason Library to continue working and maybe socialize a little. After gathering her books together and plugging her headphones in, the student didn’t feel weird […]
Humor
Tic tacs are good for when you’re hungry and want two hundred of something
This article has nothing to do with tic tacs (a variation of a Mitch Hedberg joke). Well, the first sentence does, so technically, at the very least this article has something to do with tic tacs. Instead, I’m going to write about my first year-and-a-month here at UR. When I first applied here, I thought […]
Humor
Apples
My older sister just started dating a doctor. I don’t really like him, so I’ve been sending my sister apples for the past couple of weeks. Unfortunately, an apple a day isn’t keeping him away. Apples are an amazing thing. Believe it or not, apple was actually my first word. I guess this was a […]
Humor
Poking fun at the news
1. A man was struck by a car while trying to cross the street in Delaware. Either way, his final destination was going to be a funeral home. 2. A New York court is set to hear a case that argues that chimps have rights. Let’s not forget, chimps have lefts, too. 3. A Silicon […]
Humor
Campus wi-fi upkeep cost hits record levels because of ‘that one girl who is always refreshing Buzzfeed in Psych 101’
UR’s senior information technology officer (who remains as anonymous as his job title) revealed early this week that the University’s wi-fi costs have hit record levels this semester. He reported tracing huge spikes in bandwidth usage in Hoyt Auditorium from 3:25 to 4:40pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays throughout the fall semester. The time period is […]
