1. A new poll finds that 21 percent of students at Harvard are virgins. 

Sounds like homework isn’t the only thing students are doing.

2. The UN panel has advised nations to invest in preparing for “irreversible” effects from global warming. 

After some debate as to what topic to address first, the UN agreed this one would break the ice.

3. A Michigan couple is getting married after collectively losing 380 pounds.

It looks like neither the man nor the woman wanted to invest any weight in this relationship.

4. A man is relieved after physically removing his wife’s wedding ring just after his donkey swallowed it.

He definitely pulled this one out of his ass.

5. A weather man was caught on live television urinating in some bushes. 

He did say there was a chance of precipitation.

6. NFL star Adrian Peterson has now reached a plea deal on a lesser charge in his child-abuse case.

This is good news for the Vikings because they could use someone to beat the Bears this week.

7. A rare fanged deer has been found roaming the Middle East, causing some to  call it ‘Vampire Bambi.”

As the vampire deer approaches the back of the vehicle… “That’s odd, I didn’t see it in the mirror.”

8. A truck slammed into South Glastonbury church over the weekend.

The priest came out to help but soon gave up after realizing the vehicle wasn’t convertible.

9. Heavy flooding is starting to cause damage in the south of France.

And it’s driving everyone in-Seine.

10. In Baltimore, golf is being seen as a way to help juvenile offenders.

The game gives these young kids stars to look up to. Such as Tiger Woods for marriage values, or Dustin Johnson for avoiding drug use.

Horgan is a member of
the class of 2017.



Poking fun at the news

As recently as the early 2010s, it was standard practice for surgeons to provide 30 to 40 or more opioid pills for common, minimally invasive procedures. Most of these pills, however, would remain untouched, left over in the patient’s medical cabinet or kitchen pantries for potential misuse. A team of researchers led by URMC’s Dr. Jacob Moalem set out to reduce these opioid overprescriptions. Read More

Poking fun at the news

As Alice and Peter arrive in Hell, they chase after their advisor through a series of Hell’s courts, which test their magical knowledge — and their relationship. Read More

Poking fun at the news

After walking around campus, as well as other areas such as parks in Northwestern New York, spotting birds has become more commonplace. The resident bird species are singing, foraging, and preparing to nest while many migratory birds are starting to arrive. Read More