1. A new poll finds that 21 percent of students at Harvard are virgins. 

Sounds like homework isn’t the only thing students are doing.

2. The UN panel has advised nations to invest in preparing for “irreversible” effects from global warming. 

After some debate as to what topic to address first, the UN agreed this one would break the ice.

3. A Michigan couple is getting married after collectively losing 380 pounds.

It looks like neither the man nor the woman wanted to invest any weight in this relationship.

4. A man is relieved after physically removing his wife’s wedding ring just after his donkey swallowed it.

He definitely pulled this one out of his ass.

5. A weather man was caught on live television urinating in some bushes. 

He did say there was a chance of precipitation.

6. NFL star Adrian Peterson has now reached a plea deal on a lesser charge in his child-abuse case.

This is good news for the Vikings because they could use someone to beat the Bears this week.

7. A rare fanged deer has been found roaming the Middle East, causing some to  call it ‘Vampire Bambi.”

As the vampire deer approaches the back of the vehicle… “That’s odd, I didn’t see it in the mirror.”

8. A truck slammed into South Glastonbury church over the weekend.

The priest came out to help but soon gave up after realizing the vehicle wasn’t convertible.

9. Heavy flooding is starting to cause damage in the south of France.

And it’s driving everyone in-Seine.

10. In Baltimore, golf is being seen as a way to help juvenile offenders.

The game gives these young kids stars to look up to. Such as Tiger Woods for marriage values, or Dustin Johnson for avoiding drug use.

Horgan is a member of
the class of 2017.

Zumba in medicine, the unexpected crossover

Each year at URMC, a new cohort of unsuspecting pediatrics residents get a crash course. “There are no mistakes in Zumba,” Gellin says.

Live updates: Wallis Hall sit-ins

Editor’s Note (5/4/24): This article is no longer being updated. For our most up to date coverage, look for articles…

Gaza solidarity encampment: Live updates

The Campus Times is live tracking the Gaza solidarity encampment on Wilson Quad and the administrative response to it. Read our updates here.