I’ve been at UR for a little while now. That being said, I haven’t been able to get over some things that seem too suspicious to be purely coincidental. For example, a lot of people in charge have the first name “Dean” for some reason. Let’s see, there’s Dean Burgett, Dean Burdick…

Another thing is the fact that there’s a hospital right next to the University. I know it’s better to have and not need than to need and not have, but with college as demanding as it is, having a hospital here is like having a mortician following you around everywhere you go.

The other day, my friends and I wanted to go exploring in the Genesee River, but we didn’t know how to go about this safely. We went to Blimpie’s and ordered the biggest sub they had. Sadly, we did not fit into the sub, and sadly, it could not take us down to the bottom of the river.

With Halloween tomorrow, life at UR can tempt you to make some bad decisions that could eventually come back to haunt you. For example, you might  decide to get Panda. That stuff is rocket fuel to your system. Also, I read about a kid who opened his window and tossed his Playstation 4 to the ground after giving up a late goal in FIFA. Well, there goes $400 out the window. Nevertheless, I hope you guys have an enjoyable Halloween!

Horgan is a member of
the class of  2017.  



Weeding out space problems

The administration is using gated up rooms in Spurrier and Todd Union for the cultivation of high-quality recreational marijuana.

Free the monkeys

These poor creatures were being experimented on to learn calculus, neuroscience, electrical circuitry, and art. They were staying up until 4 a.m. trying to figure out how to complete these wild assignments.

This is not a joke.

This is not a joke. This is no laughing matter. It’s not intended to be funny or perhaps even humorous. I’m serious in everything that I’m saying right now.